Goblins!!!!!

The cottage door was opened and Monster, his repellent, loathsome mother stood there scowling and dribbling, whilst gripping a sheep’s innards and a very sharp cleaver. In her crooked lips she held a pipe which spluttered some sort of unpleasant pollutant into the forest air.

‘Mummy!’ shouted Urgh happily.

That needs a little rough editing and light oiling as I've only just got it down.

In point of fact, so wonderful is our language that I could have gone for any of 20 words, including my other favourites Ill made, Horrid, Loathsome and Eyesore - all of which I may come back to or name other members of the goblin cast in her honour. I was so spoilt for choice I ended up rolling a dice to pick but changed my mind when my hound gave me a sideways glance of disapproval (or perhaps it was wind). I felt that if I didn't make up my mind quickly I'd be sat in front of the fire all day thinking which one to use, which is a pleasant thought as it's snowing outside here at Scooby Doo Towers, but a bit of a waste of precious free time.