Critical Monkey Contest - update the first [UPDATED]

[UPDATE:] I've put a new entrant into the first update, as I really shouldn't have published this until the official one-month anniversary of August 2, 2009. Welcome to the jungle, Betty! And as Betty is located in Missouri, this contest has officially gone international! Whooo!
Well, it's been a wonderful first month! And now that the shakes from my brush with Twilight have completely subsided, let's go to the leaderboard!

Acceptance (seven reviews)
Depression (six reviews)
Anger (five reviews)
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