Turning Conflict in Marriage Into a ‘Good-Fit’

Conflict in marriage is normal. We are self-centered, selfish people and we think we are right. Our goal in marriage is not to become conflict-free but to learn how to manage conflict in a healthy way.

���I never knew how different we are. The longer we are married the more our differences seem to surface. And they cause conflict! Is this normal? What���s the matter with us? What can we do about it?���

One of the causes of conflict is our differences. We have gender differences, personality differences, and many other differences.

Frustration

When I fell in love with John, I was attracted to his sense of stability. He was solid, predictable. I could count on him. He made me feel secure. I, on the other hand, am more spontaneous. I like surprises and fun. After being married for a while his stability seemed boring! I longed for him to initiate some spontaneous fun.

Enter frustration–for both of us.

I had to accept the fact that we are different in this area. Instead of expecting him to initiate, I had to be the one who planned fun things.

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