Ménage à trois, HONEY, AND A CUCUMBER…

 

 

A little 2017 surprise! This is my smoking hot ménage story that is set to release on Valentine’s Day. I’m in this anthology with a whole bunch of talented authors! Lia Davis

Angelica Dawson, Auriella Skye, Sara Wylde, TL Reeve, Cassandra Carr, Dylan Quinn, Nicole Morgan, N Kuhn, Amy Brent.

The collection is up for preorder on Amazon – just click the picture above if you want to nab this while it’s on sale for 0.99 cents! What a deal!

 

Now For Honey who was home for the holidays. *Looks right at you* Home. With. Me. *Shakes head* Here’s how that went…

Man, I couldn’t let this one go. Seriously. You’ll see why in a minute. Let us call this little Honeyism, “The Way Things Were!”

Why you may ask? Simple. Life has changed for me in a big way.

How you may ask? Easy. I have learned how to use the text to speech application on my phone.

*Deadpans* If you don’t have this ability ask Santie Claus to bring you a new phone with this magic on it as a post-holiday present. Holy moly! Life changing is understating what this new feature has done for me (not really new – but much like the car navigation system that I never learned how to use correctly) this speech thing is awesome!!!

Example? Honey had to visit a couple of job sites over the holidays, so one particular time I suggested that he stop at the grocery store on his way home. Only? I discovered he forgot the grocery list I’d written for him on the counter.

No problem.

I did my nifty microphone text magic but, um, *cough, cough* It occurred to me whilst I was doing it that I could have some fun here. Heheheheh.

The list went something like this:

Milk

Eggs

Sour cream

(I listed a few more various general items here)

Then I get to the vegetables:

Tomatoes

One thick, long, devoid of any prickly nubs, cucumber. Make sure it’s weighty in your palm, and for heaven’s sake, when you get home don’t put it in the fridge. I like my darling vegetable to be warm to the touch.

Spring onions

Oh, and PLEASE don’t forget the paper towels

*Insert an hour going by and then Honey calls me*

“Hey, babe. Got your text.”

I can barely contain myself with glee. “Yeah.”

“And I was a little confused about one of the items so I asked George.”

My glee started to fade. “George?”

“The produce manager. Hang on…”

I hear Honey talking to some guy about…about…??? Nubs! OMG, right?

He gets back on the cell to talk to me. “Yeah, George assured me the nubby cukes are for pickling and not very big. After I showed him your text he helped me find the perfect one only…”

Only? Only I was going to brain Honey when he got home for traumatizing the poor grocery guy. “What?” Yeah, no glee now. Glee was all gone.

“He suggested you might like an English cucumber. The skin is thin and he says his chick digs those.”

His chick??? Digs? You notice how you can jumble those words around – as in take the ‘D’ off of digs and replace the ‘ch’ in chick with it? Unbelievable. Without missing a beat I said, “No thanks. They’re too skinny. I like length and girth, but don’t tell your new buddy that because he might be offended if his woman is into the skinny ones.”

Honey’s voice drops to a very intimate tone. “Riley, Riley, Riley. What am I going to do with?”

I knew what I was going to do with him. I was planning on smacking him over the head with the cucumber once he got it home. The gigantic rat.

“George’s girl is a vegan chef. That’s why she prefers the English version. Easier to cut. What did you have in mind, babe?”

What indeed? Dammit. Foiled again.