The Notebook

HER: Why do you always carry around that notebook?
ME: For writing in.
HER: What do you write in it?
ME: Pornography. It's totally full of pornography.
HER: Really?
ME: Just kidding.
HER: Seriously, what's in it?
ME: It's a script for a snuff film I'm working on. A man is aggressively having sex with a woman from behind and when he orgasms, she pulls out a shotgun that was hidden under the pillows and blows his head off.
HER: Really?!?
ME: Just kidding.
HER: Seriously, what's in it?
ME: Seriously? Nothing. See? *I open the notebook and flip through the pages, showing her that they're all blank*
HER: Why do you always carry it around then?
ME: So I can have conversations like this.