Good morning Mr Wotsit. Dropping our ‘h’s are we?

So the bright sparks around the new president of America have got Theresa May’s name wrong. Mistaking the PM for a porn actress (as well they might) they misspelled her first name, making it Teresa instead of Theresa. And this in official documents.

So what should she have done? If May had any self-respect, as a politician and as a member of the human race, this scenario should perhaps have taken place.

‘Good morning Mr Fart….what? That isn’t your name? Let me see. Don’t tell me. Let me guess. It’s on the tip of my tongue. It’s a postern blast. You know, a gust of foetid air that comes out of your arsehole. Well yes, we know that describes your speeches. But apart from that……. your name is the alternative name for ‘fart’, isn’t it? And wouldn’t we say it was onomatopoeic? (Get someone to look it up.) Yes, I’m getting warmer. I’ll remember your name soon. It’s ……..Ooh what the hell. I refuse to have a meeting in a lavatory. That smell. Yes, I know it creates an appropriate olfactory ambiance and indicates how the presidency is quickly becoming a political cesspit, and even I have my limits. When’s the next plane back?'

But what did she actually say? ‘Opposites attract.’ Yuk!