How To Be Happy in Your Skin–Build a Sanctuary

I watched CNN this morning–checking in on the Dow Jones which has been swinging back and forth like a garden gate in a gale. But a story about a woman in her mid-50′s drew my attention from the financial fracas.  It showcased a woman who was extolling the fact that she liked to dress (and act) like her two twenty-something daughters. This peppy mid-life mom says she finds "fulfillment" in the fact that her daughter's dates often think she's a "sister." The 3 minute piece showed her shopping for and sharing her daughters' wardrobe of skimpy tops and tight jeans. And ended with her touting the miracles of modern cosmetic enhancement. On the heels of that came a commercial for an upcoming segment of  74 year old Jane Fonda plugging her newest book and raving about "Boomer women" going under the knife. And I thought–why? Why are we so unhappy in our own skins? Could it be we seek that thing that's torn away from us too soon in life–unconditional acceptance?  And then the what if's started to form a thought chain that I let unravel.

Think about it. Babies are happiest when mom (or dad) hold them close, or interact one-on-one. This give and take is unconditional. No strings. Animals react to each other positively or negatively the same way. Even if they snarl, growl or hiss–it is done on a level playing field. Animals don't operate on the basis of looks. They accept each other unconditionally be it instant hatred or attraction. And when animals want nurture, they retreat to their packs, or mate–or to a den or doggy bed or to the human who dispenses unconditional acceptance.

But once we humans leave the sanctuary of early childhood (and it seems to be getting earlier all the time) we fail to build our own. We are naked apes roaming into an ever-increasingly hostile world trying to gather shiny items to make us happy, or feel superior. Our quest for something–what it is we're not really sure, takes us far from that early sanctuary. We look and we seek and still we drift further from our goal. We doubt ourselves and the world shows us we're naked and not worthy again and again until we begin to mutilate ourselves to try to fit an ideal that is unattainable–when all along all we want is to be accepted. When all along we should be crafting a place (even if it's only in our minds) where we can retreat–regroup and enjoy the uniqueness of "me." There is no one else quite like "you." Build a sanctuary of unconditional acceptance–you'll be amazed how liberating it is. 'Till next time….fantastically yours,  L C