I have a beef

I'm being driven mad by pretentiousness.

Firstly the pointlessly pretentious use of words.

I'm not complaining about the use of complex words if the situation demands them. What makes me want to pull my hair out in handfuls is the obvious chucking in of a polysyllabic just to show off.

Example. A vague dislike of cats becomes ailurophobia. Presumably just because the clever dick knows the word.

And don't get me started on pretentious wording on menus.

Who the f**k thought I was going to be impressed by reading that my food was going to be enrobed in a saffron-scented sauce anglais.

It's wasn't. It's had bloody custard! Not very good bloody custard. I sent it back. But that's a whole different story....

And another thing..

This particular form of one-upmanship has given birth to a whole raft of people using words that look a bit like the one big fancy one that means what they want to say. Only it's not the one they want and it means something completely different.

I'm not doing examples here, because I'm not in the business of hurting feelings. But. Please. Stop. It.

And breathe.