Adventures In Home Waxing…

Or as I like to call it, "OMG, WTF are you DOING??"

So, before I begin, let me tell you that I have no pictures of the aforementioned torture…er, procedure. The reason being, I can't think of a good reason to take close ups of girl fur. It's icky and I'm not doing it. Esp since you have to let it grow a bit to get an effective yank on said girl fur.

Also, I am not–nor shall I ever–do a bikini wax. EVER. I did my legs to the knee and my underarms, several times.

Okay, all that said, here's what I have learned about home waxing.

Holy shit, that hurts. And also, meh, It's not so bad.

There are a few important aspects to consider if you want to wax at home:

1) How do you plan to keep the wax hot and how hot can you handle wax?

You need to have the wax hot in order for it to really work. The hotter the wax, the better the grip. So, if you are a wuss and can only take cool showers, waxing is not for you. That's not a dare. I'm not saying scald the crap out of yourself. The wax should be just below stinging. Like a good hot tub.

The microwave kind I got, well, you'll have to heat it up at least twice per leg. And you have to do a deep stick with the spatula to get the warmest part of the goo. The upper wax…almost guaranteed not to be warm enough.

2) What do you plan on waxing?

Now, this is where the girls get separated from the kamikazis. Underarms are intensely wooded areas that grow deep and sometimes you get multiple follicles in one hole. These a vicious to rip out. Oh yes, there WILL be blood. Worst part is, you might not even get the little bugger out.

I never did get the trick of doing underarms. It's virtually impossible to hold the skin taut for the pull with one hand. You can TRY to use the arm you're raising, but it's not very effective. You look funny, you hurt your neck and you get to know your underarm WAY too well. Especially when you rip the strip away and see that you basically tormented your skin and left most of the hair exactly where it was. Only now, it's mad.

I'm going the shop after I heal up from this last ordeal. Just not worth the pain.

Next, I waxed my legs. Now this, this I can handle.

The hair actually comes out! The pain is not that bad at all. And, yes, it's been 40 minutes and my skin is still slightly stinging, but that's ok.

It's somewhat akin to the difference for a diabetic between pricking your finger or your forearm. It's just not as bad.

Also, as the wax cools a little, unlike your underarms, you can effectively warm it up a little bit by rubbing the backing of the strip like a girl scout trying to start a fire. When it's burning, you can rip. And if you're quick, you can reuse the strip and get those fine hairs that might have been left behind.

Caveat–Waxing's most effective tip is to keep track of the grain of the growth. Wax down in the same direction the hair grows. Pull the skin with one hand at the bottom of the strip area and rip back the opposite direction.

So, overall lessons. If you can get your underarms smooth for longer than a day or two, it's totally worth it. If you can bear to rip your skin off to achieve that end, waxing may be made for you.

One thing is sure, I'll never wonder if I'm a masochist again.