When You Want To Kill Them For Just Chewing (aka Who Is Miss Ophonia?)

Who is Miss Ophonia? My wife is. So, I have a wife. A wonderful patient woman who puts up with me every day. I know that here, making fun of things 500 words at a time, I must seem like I’m the perfect guy. (You all were thinking that, right?) But to her, I’m a constant collection of irritating noises. I breath too loud. I chew too loud. My hair grows too loud.

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According to WebMD, “Misophonia, also known as selective sound sensitivity syndrome, starts with a trigger. It’s often an oral sound...