You're no fun! (With apologies to Monty Python)
Today's ramble may be angry. I'm going to try and keep it toned down and see if maybe I can reach my target and convince them to pay attention for the full read. My target today is my Facebook friends who have lately made statements that they're "only online to have fun."
On any given day, my social experience can be ruined by someone posting something. It may be a news article about a disaster, or about a victim of sexual violence or gender policing. Or it may be someone posting what they think is definitive proof that global climate change is a myth, or another round of "this food/animal/substance/concept/straw man is the Atheist nightmare." I'm not even an Atheist, and those videos can make my eye twitch because of the glaring stupidity that these people talk about, and still get global attention for it.
Meanwhile, trans folks can't even convince the media to stop using the wrong words in describing our murder scenes in the "liberal" papers, nor can we convince our allies that it's in their best interests to push a discrimination bill that doesn't push us under the gay bus. And yeah, being reminded by certain straight people that in their eyes I'm sharing social caste-space with pedophiles and NAMBLA members is also likely to wipe the smile from my face. Some days, Facebook is no fun at all for me. Some days, Facebook leaves me with a really bitter taste in my mouth.
And then, sometimes I lose my good mood because in the same stream, I've got five "friends" all chastising their friends not to talk to them about anything negative, because they just use Facebook to "get away from the world." Yes, and they say this with no sense of irony either.
The idea is, one should never talk about bad things or be a grumpy Gus because it's bringing down folks who are only online to have a good time and escape reality. I think people who are always negative probably could be avoided, but if you're skipping out on all the bad news on your social feed just so you can keep a smile on, you're ignorant, and intentionally so. There really is no justification for your behavior that doesn't boil down to entitled thinking. Which may be okay if you're a right winger who agrees with Rush or the dudes on Fox. But I see a lot of people claiming to be lefties, progressives, or moderates that are just as willfully ignorant. They can't be bothered to learn anything online, because they only want to have fun.
No one in life guaranteed you the right to have fun. You have the right to pursue happiness, but that doesn't mean you have the right to get it 24/7. And really, you shouldn't try to remain in that happy state all the time, not with the condition our world is in. We need more people plugged into the social world to do something, and not just to goof off. And don't get me wrong. I love my video games, and I'm addicted to a TV show. I LOVE to gab on Twitter about all kinds of stuff, and despite what my blog might have you think, I'm not always pissed off…just, mostly pissed off. BUT, that's why I keep myself in a room, people. Cause I know I got issues.
I talk a lot about personal responsibility, but not as a hollow libertarian message about how no one should be on welfare and we should all be self-sufficient. Because that's bullshit, and we, the human race, were meant to be co-dependent. In my version of personal accountability, I mean we all accept that yes, we are our brothers' and sisters' keepers, and we commit to help each other a little at a time. Fuck waiting for the government to propose a solution against hate and poverty. Fuck the corporations and their attempts to distract and divide us. I commit to worry for you, and you do the same for me. Instead of joining the crowds saying they don't give a fuck, let's start a counter-revolution and try to give a fuck for more than just ourselves. Let's get out there and tell other people "You SHOULD give a fuck, and here's why."
This means some of you will have to cut back some of your fun time online. You want some incentive to make that a deal. I got your incentive. When you help another person and really connect with them, it doesn't just make them feel good. It makes you feel good because you accomplished something real. So sometimes, go wade in the sea of negativity, even if it isn't fun. There's all kinds of people asking for help, and many just need a sounding board or a sympathetic ear. Others might require more work on your part.
You may have noticed that in the wake of the Japan quakes, I've made two donations of my own and then turned around and promoted the charities to my folks on the social networks and here. I don't know anyone in Japan besides one ex-pat bizarro writer who was apparently safe from all the harm during the disasters. I sometimes read manga and watch anime, but that's beside the point. Watching the tsunami carry away whole city blocks, I knew that the people of Japan would be facing dire times. They would be homeless. I've been homeless. I know a little of what that feels like, but they had a HUGE shit pile dropped on them on top of being homeless. I only had to be homeless a for a few weeks, and they have to deal with a lot of long term problems. So looking at this disaster, I knew I had to do something, and not just as a one-time tithing to my conscience.
My donations take out of my entertainment budget. To help the Japanese, I needed to give up some of my fun. These people need help more than I need another good time. I have lots of good times. I also have lots of bad, but I cannot fairly say that I do not have enough good times that I can't spare a few.
And that's what I'm appealing to you folks with, the understanding that you really should sacrifice some of your fun in exchange for educating yourself on the plights of others, and then, going one step farther and stepping in to actually do something. You do lose time and money in the process, and yes, sometimes helping other people doesn't feel fun, or rewarding. But when you help, your sacrifice puts something back into your community or social site. You sacrificing your fun can help improve lives, and helping people is its own reward for how it makes you feel after the good deed is done.
It IS wrong of you to shut yourself off from the world and declare that only your fun matters. Far too many people tune out the world, and the conditions of our planet and our societies are the result of their willful inattention. We've all been told for a while now "think globally, act locally." But the vast majority of people are acting locally and thinking only of themselves. Which is what leads to the shitty state of the world we have now.
When I call you to arms to fight for other people and you shoo me off, I'm the ant warning you of the oncoming Winter, and you're the grasshopper laughing and declaring that having fun during the Summer is more important than working for anything.
And you're wrong. But in this day, you can be wrong your entire life in a crowd of lazy grasshoppers. Or you can lose the attitude that your fun is really that precious, and you can learn to put up with some bad vibes every once in a while. Stop acting so sheltered that even mild debate or negativity makes you squeamish. We weren't put on this planet to entertain you. Even if I am a writer…shut up.
So, grasshopper, are you ready to help prepare for the Winter yet? Or do you still just want to have fun?
