Those Three Little Words

Love at First Sight (Podcast) Rebuilding Your Sense of Self (Podcast)

Those Three Little Words

I love you.

Simple enough, really. So why are they so hard to say for some people?

I love you.

See? Now you try it.

Hearing those words can make someone's day. It can make their entire week! Feeling loved is essential for most people, but so many people go on feeling quite unloved. And it saddens me greatly.

Those words are not at all hard for me to say, under most circumstances. My husband and I say them to each other multiple times every day.

I say it to my mother every time I talk to her. I tell my dear friends often, too.

Expressing love can be as liberating as feeling it or hearing it yourself. Some people claim that it loses some importance if you say it too much, but to that I say Balderdash.

Love needs to be expressed, in whatever form it takes in your life.

But at the beginning of a new relationship, especially, these are three very loaded words. Say them too soon, and your lover might be scared away, especially if they have intimacy issues. It's a tricky time, new relationships. One full of doubts and hopes and second-guesses and fears. As to when it's the right time to express your love? Unfortunately, there are so many factors there, it's impossible to advise.

For me and my primary relationship, we were talking about marriage at the end of the first month. And here we are 12 years later still very happy and very much in love. For others, that would be too soon. For most, I'd wager. However, the older you are and the more relationships you've had, you start to learn when something is real and when it's not. As you get older, it becomes quite clear very early on as to whether or not it will work for the long haul, just because of experience.

By that time, you know yourself better, hopefully, and you know what you need and what you can give. You know what it feels like to have your heart broken. And, just as importantly, you know you will recover. You know you will survived the crippling pain that comes with heartbreak because you have survived it before. Even though you may feel like you don't want to survive it, while experiencing it, you do. And then, once the grief has passed, you can be thankful that there was love, even if it ended.

Outside of new relationships, you should probably be telling your SO at least once every day that you love them & cherish them. Tell your mother & father. Tell your children. Tell your siblings, your friends, your dogs. So say it with me now.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Three little words that hold so very much importance.

Say them freely.