Wyatt The Crime-Stopper & Boone The Smartass

We were at the store the other day, just me and the boys, to get a new toilet brush. While we were at the self checkout area, Wyatt was playing around one of the candy displays and said, “There’s a purse back there.”

I said, “No there isn’t,” because… I don’t know why. I just didn’t believe him.

He reached behind the display and pulled out a purse. It still had the paper stuffing inside, but all the tags were removed.

I’ve worked enough retail jobs in my life to know the purse was probably stashed there by a shoplifter who either ditched it and/or planned to come back later and get it. We handed it to a staffer and told him where we found it.

As we walked to the car, I told Wyatt, “Buddy, you probably just thwarted a shoplifter.”

“What?” he asked.

“I’m pretty sure someone was going to come back and try to steal that purse,” I said. “You just stopped a crime.”

His eyes went wide. “I stopped a crime?” His lifelong dream of being a hero—whether Batman or a cop or a spy—had suddenly come true. “I stopped a crime! I STOPPED A CRIME!”

Right then, Boone smacked Wyatt on the ass with our newly purchased toilet brush and said, “You didn’t stop that crime.”