Why Are All My Posts About Food Lately?

One of the most annoying tasks I have to do at my job is to mail out notifications to people who live close to the fast food restaurant that we're remodeling, just in case somebody objects. 



Us: Hi, we'd like to add more trees and outdoor seating to your local shitty fast food restaurant.

Neighbor: If you remove the Mayor McCheese jungle gym, I'll fucking kill you.



Only crazy people like that would have a problem with it.  So what possible way could there be to make this task even more revolting?  Aahhhhh yes, maybe if I used bacon flavored envelopes:

So, after thousands of years and kajillions of horrible tasting
envelopes licked, we're happy to report that J&D's Bacon-Flavored Mmmvelopes™ are here to save the day. No longer will envelopes taste
like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead.

Hey maybe it's good, I dunno.  I was also reluctant to try pineapple on my pizza, and now I'm a full fledged Hawaiian pizza eating machine.  But at least pineapple's, you know, made out of food.  So I think I'll just stick with glue flavor envelopes. 



Or, better yet, tape.





No thanks, I'll just chew on these envelopes.