Love Poem for a New Computer

You,

my dear,

are a thing

of beauty.

I mean,

get a load of those countours;

you are amazing,

16 gigabytes of RAM,

ultra-fast processor,

triple screen capabilities

and holy moly,

I’d like to dip your LEDs

in maple syrup.

I haven’t even

met you.

The stories we’ll tell –

my god,

the work we’ll do.

I know you don’t have feelings,

but I’ve got enough

for both of us.

I shall name you

Jane,

so you can be Jane Cobain,

my little mainframe.

Dear God,

you’ve got more ports

than Portsmouth;

baby,

open wide

and get your trays out,

I’ve got a big ol’ disk

to put into you.

Jane,

I see your software;

you remind me of me

when I was younger.

And with your twin-speed

interior fans

with the built-in ventilation

and automation,

you make me wish

I was as cool as you.

Now let the race begin

to obsoletion;

I wonder

who’ll get there

first.