Slowly Going Crazy?

Author Stacey May Fowles recently had
a column in the National Post about publishing a book for the first time. 

I haven't been able to
forget it. 

Basically, Stacey's piece (which you can read below if you're interested), talked about her experience of being a first-time author and
how it basically crippled her as a person. 

(http://arts.nationalpost.com/2011/02/18/stacey-may-fowles-the-first-time/) 

She writes: 

"A bout three months
before the launch of my first book, something broke inside me. That's the only
real way to describe it. My ability to live as a functional human being ...
disappeared … I was ill-prepared for how insane publication would actually make
me – not because it wasn't as enchanting as I had imagined it, but because of
how completely naked it made me feel."

So, here
I am two months before the launch of my own book and wondering if this is the
"calm before the storm" for me. If, even though I feel fine, happy, excited, I
too have the potential to become un-hinged? Truth is, I have already struggled with
anxiety at times in my life. Does this make me more susceptible to what Stacey
is talking about? Or, is it possible for a new author to go through the launch
of her first book (an experience of becoming totally vulnerable to public
opinion), and remain centered, balanced and calm.

I was
recently reading through the 1915-1919 diaries of Virginia Woolf and came
across this explanation for a lapse in Ms Woolf's entries (a time in which she is said to have plunged into an "aggressive and violent period of madness"):

" Virginia 's first novel The
Voyage had been accepted in March 1913; its publication was delayed until March
1915. She only mentions it once, but it would not be wise to suppose that it
was absent from her thought; the knowledge that it was soon to appear may well
have been the cause of her renewed insanity . . ."

Geesh.
Seems like this "first novel syndrome" is something that has been happening 

for
a while. So I'm wondering, does someone have to be mad to begin with, or is
this something that can creep up on you? Perhaps like most issues with your mind,
this kind of break-down can be kept at bay through your keen anticipation and
observation of it, but it's hard to know for sure.

I guess
you just have to take a chance.

All I
can do is work to focus on the good and positive things about my life (the
smiling faces of my kids for example) and hope for the best. If everything goes
as planned, my upcoming book release will not cause me severe anxiety like it
did to Stacey May Fowles, or even worse lead me down a path of madness and
insanity like it did for Virginia Woolf. 

It's realistic to say that there may be
some uncomfortable moments because of the sudden exposure of myself and my writing, but hopefully, that will be the
extent of it. And I have to say that for me, having the chance to do what I've
always wanted to do is totally worth the risk of insanity. I'd be insane if I didn't take the risk, that's for sure.