Size Matters

If you met the LOL (Lovely Old Lady) you'd be surprised. She's a little wisp of a thing. In fact if you took away her voice (loud, constant, and often angry) and she turned sideways you wouldn't know she was there. (While constantly praying for laryngitis, I continue to rely on the old adage, "You live near the airport long off, you don't even hear the planes after a while".)

However, when the topic of a ring was discussed she told me that due to her "fat" fingers the size of the diamond would have to be large to appear correctly proportioned. I did agree to get the ring with the understanding that there would be no discussion of a wedding. That lasted exactly 7 1/2 minutes.

Then there was the discussion of diamond earings. Apparently like her fingers her ear lobes are incredibly large for her size. With the wonders of technology I was able to compare pictures of her to first, Mr. Spock and then President Ineptamama. The size difference was not apparent to the naked eye. She insisted that anything less than 1 1/2 carats on those ginormous earlobes would merely appear like a speck of sand on a vast beach.

Speaking of beaches this weekend we each had family commitments in different places. The LOL normally drives the SUV (aka surfmobile) during the week. I drive a Ford Focus. (Before you judge I have experienced first hand the saying, "If it has wheels or breasts sooner or later it will give you trouble." Also both cars are paid for in full.)

There is a good chance of waves over the next few days so I mentioned to the LOL that I would need the surfmobile. "You know I can't drive small cars," was the response.

So while it may be true the best things come in small packages just keep in mind that they expect big things.

KOKO