Writing Prompt #34--Arrest These Merry Gentlemen

You share a discreet suburban crack house with four other partners. The money’s good and so’s the product. While you specialize in selling crack, you peddle everything from pot to heroin to LSD. After two years in the game, you haven’t been raided and the few cops who’ve bothered you merely wanted a cut of the profits—which you’re more than happy to share. This year, you even ran a Christmas special (10% off all product). Business is booming and no problems are in sight: until Christmas Eve. For some reason, a bunch of carolers show up on your lawn with two news vans. Instead of cutting loose with the normal Christmas favorites, they pelt you with drug-related parodies. Such examples would include: Jingle Pills, Arrest These Merry Gentlemen, Silent Meth, and Little Druggie Boy. Local news is running this, which means it’ll end up on tomorrow’s news (if not sooner). Worse, your cartel supplier might watch the news and decide to ice you (lest you snitch).
What happens next?

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