Things I learned today

There was a really bad accident on the M25 (Orbital Highway around London) yesterday, and as a result part of the route I take to go to horsey was closed.

This resulted in having to take evasive action.

Yep. I got lost. And GPS wasn't helping.

"Turn left at XYZ Road."

I looked at the map. It's a freaking dead end! Why is my GPS (Google Maps) sending me into a dead end road? The best route is not through someone's living room.

So…no. Sorry, Miss "I am slightly snarky" GPS voice.

I carried on down the road, and turned toward where I was going.

"Do a U-turn."

Err…why? This IS the right way, why would I turn around and go the way I just came?

"Do a U-TURN!"

Brow raises. "You want to send me back into that dead end, don't you?"

I fully expected her to say yes.

Well, I got there, eventually. Despite GPS. (I don't know where Miss Snarky was going, but it was nowhere near where I wanted to go.)

Lesson learned: Don't use the GPS on your phone. Borrow better half's TomTom instead.

Willow is a greedy mare. If you have goodies — like apples — prepare to be mugged. If you show up with a bucket, then you better have something edible in it, to avoid disappointment (and half eaten brushes.) Because buckets are for food. All pockets become horse property if there are mints or anything else in them.

Also, a horse's ego is directly proportional to it's size. The smaller the horse, the bigger the ego. There are two youngsters in the same field, and I swear their egos are bigger than Saturn. They also think — like Saturn — everything has to revolve around them. Le sigh.

Lesson learned: Don't walk around with a back pocket smelling of apples. Horses have strong teeth, and my butt is soft and chewy.

Lesson learned: When one horse realizes you have something edible, the others will also realize this and you get mobbed.

I'm also on a diet right now. Well, not specifically a diet, just…less eating. And eating healthy. Salad is on the menu, as is cracker bread instead of white bread sandwiches.

It's not a bad thing, but did you ever notice how tempting a sandwich is when you try to stay away from bread? Right now, I try to avoid pasta and bread, and anything even remotely smelling of carbs.

Of course, that means I have no idea what to eat. It doesn't help that I have no idea what is low calorie, and what isn't. I probably avoid all the wrong things and deprive myself of tasty stuff.

On the up side, I am shedding a little weight. Not a lot, I've only been doing this for a week, but hey… I'm not sitting here stuffing myself with popcorn and I haven't touched any chocolate in a week.

Lesson learned: I don't really miss chocolate. I just miss snacking. So I substitute the fattening stuff for an apple or a banana. (Even if it does get me mugged by greedy ponies.)

We went to a birthday dinner at a restaurant a couple of weeks ago. They had a nifty pepper mill with a salt insert, and I wanted one.

I sat there, plotting how one of them could possibly accidentally fall into my bag, but the better half had an attack of morals and told me I'm not taking one.

Fine. We left without me pilfering a salt shaker.

Tonight I sit there and he unpacks his rucksack. I see flannel after flannel come out of there, and when I asked why he has six face flannels in his bag (not our flannels), he says they were "just lying" in the bathroom at some hotel and no one was using them so he stuck them in his rucksack.

Lesson learned: If I do it, it's reprehensible and I'm morally corrupt. If he does it, it's perfectly okay.

P.S. Stealing is wrong.

But it was a really nice salt shaker/pepper mill.

P.P.S. The food was very expensive, the portions were tiny, and not very good. I think I deserved my salt shaker.

What did you learn this week?