Writing Prompt #30--The Super PAC

You were a rising star in the GOP, a lobbyist without peer with a silver-tongued gift for gab. They called you “Snake Oil” and put you on all the talk shows to defend all kinds of unpopular candidates, issues, or whatever. Unlike the other pundits, your arguments weren’t (completely) shit-filled or nonsensical. Then came the zombie apocalypse. It wasn’t as fun as everyone wanted. Nor did it last very long. A ruthless military response, a couple of well-placed nukes, and it barely spread beyond the Bible Belt. The problem would be the surviving zombies. Some of ‘em are actually quite nice . . . as long as they’re fed 10 pounds of raw meat every 12 hours. One of the poor bastards happens to be a multi-billionaire tech genius and an admirer of yours. She wants you to create a Super PAC called “Dead Lives Matter” and pursue the cause for zombie rights. Basically, she wants all law-abiding zombies (including herself) to have the same civil rights as everyone else. She then puts a check for $8 million in your hands, with the promises of more if you spearhead this campaign. As a lover of winning unwinnable arguments, the appeal is difficult to resist.
What happens next?

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