The lies we all long to hear (from '09)

This happened exactly just the way I wrote it. Only took me about 30 minutes to write back in '09. I was so pleased with it I chose to include it as one of 33 essays in the "Crayons!" book. 



I had my stand-offish Sunday morning face on. I hadn’t showered and didn’t want any human interaction other than that six or so words I’d exchange with the clerk where I buy gas.



I finished pumping,