"This is why you're single"

I've had that said to me many times throughout my life by women, when I've made a comment that rebels against the henpecked, women-are-doing-you-the-favour by dating/marrying you line.Nothing particularly offensive or controversial that I've said either; just anything that basically questions why a guy should completely sacrifice his life on a day-to-day basis for the benefit of his wife/partner.I recall a woman at work (most of these are workplace conversations) being hyper-annoyed that her husband had chosen his company car colour without consulting her... She was steamed, and not in a funny, pretending to be the overbearing-wife type way; she was genuinely pissed off.I didn't get it? What difference did it really make? But I'd been drawn into the conversation, asked what I thought, and though clearly the correct response was to agree with the woman, I naively voiced my honest opinion: I didn't think it was such a big deal. Worse than that, I asked why the guy needed to discuss the car colour with her? It was his company car after all, and he'd be the one sat in it the majority of the time. She had her own car as well.As I wasn't going down the road of joining in decrying the guy for the egregious crime of choosing a colour (I think he had a choice of three neutral, banal colours) for something that was his, I was dismissed with a, "This is why you're not married." Said with the sort of look reserved for, "I curse you, and condemn you to die alone!" by a gypsy queen.I'e noticed that this is something peculiar to women: thinking it's the most terrible barb they can maul across you, to wish you death without marriage! When has any guy ever 'insulted' you with that one? In the female-world that's fighting talk. That's dropping the nuclear bomb. This is a person who's not going to be placated and this is going to get physical! But if a guy spat that one at you, you'd be more apt to laugh in his face, not punch it.I think because it genuinely scares women so much, they think it terrifies men equally. It's like the end ofGhosts of Girlfriends Past(how seasonal of me!). Just before the grand denouement, we see the womanising main character's funeral, and so does he, à la Scrooge. He laments that no one's at his wake except his estranged brother. The ghost of his hero, his equally womanising uncle who's been accompanying him on his trips down memory lane, and playing the Jacob Marley character, informs him, "That's how it goes for guys like us. We don't get the big funeral. Nobody's really gonna miss you."This redeems Matthew McConaughey's character and gets him back on the straight and narrow - and so he immediately proposes to the girl who he loved from his youth... the one who set him out on the road to being a player by rejecting him and going off with the Alpha at their first teen party.And now years later, when he's professionally successful and a ladies man, and her career's a banal failure in comparison just like her relationships, McConaughey realises that true happiness lies in giving it all up for her. The girl that broke his heart - and would no doubt continue to do so if she possessed the ability.What we're not shown of course, is McConaughey spending his life doing whatever the fuck it is he wants to do, when he wants to do it, with plenty of money and a continuing bevy of beauties.It's like Nicolas Cage inThe Family Man. The film starts with Cage at the top of his game: penthouse apartment, model girlfriend, high flying job, and on the verge of pulling off a multi-million dollar deal... and then some "angel" appears (because he's so unhappy?) and he gets to see what things would have been like if he'd passed up the biggest opportunity of his life, married, had kids, and settled for a way shittier job.The movie's narrative comes from the angle that all of that, the whole family gig etc., is just so much better than being rich, successful and in control of your own life.Who stole my life?Of course, in both of these examples, both male characters realise the error of their ways, and give up what's made them perfectly happy up to that point and the envy of other men, for a life of being bawled out at picking a colour for their company car without consulting their wife first...That I don't understand why these men would do that, is why I'm not married I suppose.I do understand being considerate and manners of course, but is there anything more pitiful than the office impromptu drinks outing that has to be prefixed by the usual rounds of pleas for permission from the married/partnered-up guys. They may get a pass until 7pm, but usually no later. If they want later then at least seven days notice is required. And now that I think about it, the other more pitiful thing is the boyish glee that accompanies getting to stay "out late," having a "boys night out."It's the revelling in it that's saddest. Like a child requiring permission from a parent. Course they'll have to check-in by text all night and be getting picked-up by midnight at the latest, but this is what I'm missing out; being hitched to some shrew with a burgeoning waistline that dictates my life for me.I've noticed too, that when asked if I'm seeing "someone special" that if I reply "no" then that elicits pained looks of sympathy and "Aw, never mind, there's someone for everyone." I could well be seeing several "no one specials" but because I don't want to get into explaining myself or the recriminations, I just say I'm not. It's easier than the twenty questions that'll follow, as if nuptials are in the air.I find too, that women seem to interpret "I'm not seeing anyone at the moment" as "I am not, and never have, seen anyone, ever." Or at least the reaction would suggest that.Contrary to what women seem to believe, having a partner isn't really that much of an "achievement." I still don't get why they seem to think it is, either?Now, despite what I've said here, I am not totally against commitment. If you find someone who makes you happy, really is all you want, and enriches your life, hell, that sounds good! You'd be mad to pass that up.I've not actually seen that as yet, though. Most of what I have seen are married guys warning you off it after a few drinks, looking like they're going to go home and hitch a hosepipe up the exhaust of their company car in the garage when they get home later.I dare say there are some genuinely happy marriages, but nothing I've seen thus far in real life looks like the family inThe Cosby Show.However, as the season's right, expect to catchGhosts of Girlfriends PastandThe Family Manin the next couple of weeks, to set you straight for next year.