Job Interview

I flubbed my first job interview in twenty-two years.

Or did I?

There’s no way to know until they make the announcements for the next round of interviews, but I didn’t present myself as well as I would have liked. Granted, I am my own worst critic, so that comes into play a little bit. Maybe I did better than I think.

I tell you, though … It was one of those moments when the universe conspired against me. Here’s the situation.

I planned on using the hour prior to the phone interview to jot down a quick script and rehearse. I would have done it the night before, but I took my kids to a three-hour play, which was great, but it zapped my night after an already long day at work. I’m a soon-to-be-retired Air Force weather dude.

I was at work, in a meeting, and it ran late. Not just a few minutes late. It went an hour and a half longer than scheduled. I don’t usually worry about these things. The military is overflowing with meetings and conference calls, and my experience has been that they usually begin late and end late.

But today I had a job interview. My first in more than two decades! Maybe my first “real” interview. I glanced at my watch and my heart jumped. Ten minutes. My interview was in ten minutes!

The powwow ended and I sprinted to my car to answer the incoming phone call. A panel of interviewers were calling at 11am, and my preparation time was now gone. I should have known better. I should have stayed up late and prepared the night before. Done it a million times, but … I fell asleep. Only jotted down a few notes. Not enough. Could have, should have, would have.

On my end of the USA, this phone interview was taking place in the front seat of my car. Why? I work in a classified environment and I can’t bring my cell phone inside the building. I could use the phone at my desk, but we keep unclassified calls to a minimum so that nobody on the other end overhears something they shouldn’t. Plus there’s always a pile of people lurking around our “cubicle city.” Absolutely no privacy.

So I sprinted to my car, grabbed my folder with all of my notes and a printout of the job listing and requirements, and jumped into the driver’s seat. The folder slipped from my fingers and papers went everywhere. I hurriedly gathered them up and started spreading them around the passenger seat, the dashboard, the center console. Any flat space was soon occupied. I glanced at my watch.

Two minutes.

Earlier, my fleece coat and two shirts were comfy. A modified Arctic air mass had spread across the USA and temperatures in South Carolina were in the low 40s.

Comfy had departed, however, and was replaced by warm and awkward. Where was the bottle of water I had just a few seconds ago? Left it in the trunk when I grabbed my folder. Ugh.

My phone rings. I was an uncomfortable, sweating, disorganized mess. Steering wheel jutting out into my way. I turn sideways. I’d been in worse situations. I’d pull this off, no problem. I adapt and overcome. I’m a survivor.

And I’m perfect for this job and I’m a good person! No sweat. Got it under control.

I field a question or two, but one of the interviewers references specific job requirements. I frantically search for the page with the information, but it is conspicuously missing from the out-of-order paperwork spread all around. F-16s blast around outside, afterburners blazing, and I apologize for the noise. I hear some polite laughter on the other end. I’m not even sure they heard me correctly or heard the planes. They may just think I’m crazy. Maybe they’re right.

I can’t find what I need, so we skip and move to the next question. While I am answering it, I am also multi-tasking … scanning through email on the phone I am talking into, and I find a soft copy of the job document the interviewer had emailed me a couple of days prior. Finally, a small win, but is it too little, too late? I’m wondering this and answering questions at the same time.

Before I know it, the interview is over. I ramble a little bit about my family at the end, and how we look forward to moving to Texas. When we hang up, I exhale and wonder if I would hire myself after that performance. There’s another layer of interviews, so I still have a shot, but…

You never know.

The truth is that, as I said, I’m perfect for this job. It’s perfect for me. Like we were made for one another. Maybe they’ll see that.

I lead a hectic life, but I could have carved out some time and been more prepared in the two or three days I’d known about the interview. I’m reminded of one of my parental speeches for my kids … where I stress preparation and practice.

The funny thing about all of this is that I sort of had a good time. Even during the stressful moments. I kick myself mentally, sure, but I enjoy new experiences, and I’ll be overly prepared for the next interview, whether it be with that particular organization or another.

Oh, yeah, and by the way … you probably realize I’m a writer, too. I like to toss words around. So I’m always doing that, too.

Have an awesome day, world!