Because I Said I Would . . .

Here’s the intro for the romance version of Nita. I don’t like it, which makes me think I’m writing a team story after all (constantly being rewritten after discussion in the comments):

Nita Dodd is a damned good cop with a sixth sense for crime which tells her that her friend Joey’s murder was more than a random drive-by; now she’s going to find out who ordered the hit, starting with the whack-job witness who thinks he’s the Devil.

Nick Giordano is Satan’s fixer and chosen successor, back on earth for one last job before he takes over in Hell; when somebody’s murdered in front of him, he has that mess to fix, too, and it’s not going to be easy because he’s got a weirdo cop asking questions, and she’s not believing his answers.

But when Weirdo meets Whack-job, they find that things are much worse than they thought, and the only thing that’s going to save them is their joint ability to believe the unbelievable, defeat the undefeatable, and finally accept the undeniable by falling in love.

I know, it sucks. Here’s the team version from the last post:

On Demon Island, tourists come to play at being devils and demons, but we know there’s much more to this island than green hats with horns and Hell Fries. We’re the Devil’s Minions, and we may not all be human, alive, or even corporeal, but we share the same mission: to protect everyone and everything on Demon Island, regardless of race, creed, or signs of life. Cross us, and there’ll be Hell to pay.

Here’s the single protagonist version, rewritten because I like the team version so much better:

You know, this is really the voice-over for a sequel, not for this book, so I edited it to make it that.

I’m Detective Nita Dodd of the Demon Island police force, and I have a helluva job: protecting and serving both the people who live on my island and the tourists who come to our amusement park and chief source of income, the Devil’s Playground. The tourists think the supernatural is a joke, but I know there’s a lot more to this island than hats with devil horns and Hell Fries. Thank god I’ve got my partner, Nick (he used to be the Devil), and our Minions; they may not all be human, alive, or even corporeal, but they share our mission: to protect everyone and everything on Demon Island, regardless of race, creed, or signs of life. Cross us, and there’ll be Hell to pay.

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