That's Intriguing #59: Want Confidence? How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
"Fear is a pair of handcuffs on your soul." – Faye Dunaway
I was coaching a client today and she was admitting that, even though she's a successful international executive, she still gets nervous when she speaks.
She has an important investor pitch coming up next week and she's afraid she might freeze up.
I asked her, "Are you an athlete?"
"Yes. I played soccer in school and I run, work out or do yoga several times a week."
"Good. From now on, you're going to approach speaking as a sport."
"What do you mean?"
"In sports, there are two kinds of athletes. Those who, when the game is on the line, say, 'DON'T give me the ball' and those who say, 'GIVE ME the ball.' I'm betting you're the latter."
She laughed and said, "You're right."
"From now on, prep for speaking just like you would for a championship match."
1. Check out the venue in advance so you have home-field advantage.
If possible, go to the meeting room before the actual event.
When I speak at conferences, I always go to the ballroom the night before (sometimes at midnight) when no one's around. I take the stage, throw my heart to the back of the room and give part of my presentation with the same volume of voice and animation I would before an audience of a thousand.
Pop Warner said, "You play the way you practice."
You wouldn't be casual at practice and expect to be brilliant the second the match starts.
Well, we can't expect to be at our best in a boardroom or ballroom if we haven't rehearsed with the same intensity and quality of the "real-thing."
Practicing the way you want to present where you're going to present gives you a competitive edge. Other speakers will be nervous in their unfamiliar surroundings whereas you can relax and be 100% focused because you're on your home turf.
2. Go for a walk/run to get out of your head and into your body.
Have you been told to practice your speech in front of a mirror?
That's terrible advice!
Why?
Practicing in front of a mirror is an artificial environment. What's worse; it focuses you on YOU which makes you self-conscious which is the opposite of what you want.
You want to be in a stream-of-conscious state (not a self-conscious) state when you speak – and you want to focus on your audience (not on your self).
The best way to do that is to rehearse your presentation while walking or running.
I always go for a walk outside the morning of a presentation to kick-in those endorphins.
This not only gets my oxygen pumping and blood flowing – it aligns the left and right brain so I'm at my analytical/creative best and raring to go.
Plus, looking around at my surroundings while navigating my way and rehearsing my talk gives me an opportunity to practice "multi-task-speaking."
Multi-task-speaking is that state of concentration where you're sharing your message and, at the same time. observing and responding to your surroundings . . . all without getting distracted or pulled off topic.
Teachers are pros at this. They're writing on the white board and delivering the lesson plan while noticing that Suzie is texting on her (forbidden) cell phone, Nick is sleeping and Vanessa is whispering to Tiffany.
Confident communicators know how to stay focused on their message and adapt it in real-time as they evaluate the reactions of their audience.
For example, If I notice a couple people in the back row checking their email, I might walk towards the back of the room and raise my voice to re-engage them . . . all without losing a beat in the flow of material.
When I suggested this to my client, she said, 'Sam, I agree with this in theory, but it doesn't always work in real-life. What if there's a thunder storm outside or what if I'm running late and arrive at an event minutes before I'm supposed to speak?"
I asked, "How much money are you asking for?"
"1.5 million."
"So, you're asking for a million and a half dollars and wouldn't invest a few hours to prep yourself to increase the likelihood of closing this deal?
You've spent months putting this venture together, developing your products, website and team, and you wouldn't do the one thing that could make the difference between you walking in feeling pressured and panicked . . . or walking in feeling poised, professional and powerful?
Your future may rest on whether you get a yes from someone in this room and land funding. Isn't it worth arriving early – just like an athlete prepping for the Olympics – so you can acclimate and be ready to be your best and do your best?"
"If there's a thunderstorm outside that morning, do what I do. Stride the halls of your hotel, notes in hand.
Walking briskly turns panic energy ("What if I forget what I'm going to say? What if someone asks me something I don't know?") into productive energy (This is how I'm going to walk up to the center of the room, stand tall and start so I have everyone's attention in the first 60 seconds.)
She protested one last time, "What if I'm still nervous?"
Then, you're still in your head, THINKING about what YOU want to say and how YOU'RE going to say it. This creates tension and feeds fear which keeps you in rigid neck-up nervousness.
The best speakers know that what we do is about energy transference.
Audiences come in three states of energy – apathetic, actively resistant or eager.
Our goal is to have such commanding, convincing energy, it wins over the neutral and resistant individuals and feeds off the energy of the fans.
The best way to exude that type of confident energy is to access the peak performance "zone" state where there's no room at the mental inn for doubts.
The best way to access that state of complete confidence is to remove the handcuffs of fear on your soul and free yourself to be in flow.
And the best way to do that is to immerse yourself in your presentation beforehand by DOING IT and MOVING IT – not standing in front of a mirror and thinking it or reading it.
Want more ways to speak with the confidence of a champion athlete? Contact us at Sam@SamHorn.com and we'll send a special report with 3 Secrets to Communicating with Confidence.
