A Friend In Need: Xena

XENA — Behind the Scenes to FIN, Part II

Rob: “Ok, Renee. The setup for this scene is as follows. Xena’s over there half dead and she needs you to get the water from this fountain to give to her so she can defeat the swamp monster, ok?”

Renee: “Sure, Rob. No problem.”

Clapboard Guy: “Water Transfer Scene, take one!”

Renee: Runs to the fountain, cups her hands together, gets the water, turns, and starts back toward Lucy.

Rob: “CUT!! CUT!! Renee, what are you doing?”

Renee: “Um…what you told me to do?”

Rob: “In your MOUTH, Renee.”

Renee: “In my mouth…what?”

Rob: (exasperated) “The WATER.”

Renee: “The water? This water? The water that’s in my hands right now?”

Rob: “Yeeessss.”

Renee: “I thought I was supposed to be carrying it to Xena, not drinking it myself. Does Gabrielle need some strength for something? I don’t remember reading that in the script.” (Renee looks pensive)

Rob: “You’re not supposed to drink it, Renee.”

Renee: “I’m not?”

Rob: “No.”

Renee: “Then why is it in my mouth?”

Rob: “That’s how you’re gonna carry it over there.”

Renee: “In my mouth?”

Rob: “Yeesssss.”

Renee: “So…you want me to take the water that’s already in my hands and put it in my mouth, and then carry it to Xena?”

Rob: “Yeessss.”

Renee: “Um…why would I do that? Don’t people usually carry water in their hands if they don’t have a glass?”

Rob: “Well…yes.”

Renee: “So…am I gonna have to use my hands for something else?”

Rob: “Noooo.”

Renee: “No fighting off a hundred samurai?”

Rob: “Noooo.”

Renee: “No killing the swamp monster?”

Rob: “Noooo.”

Renee: “No rabid rabbits?”

Rob: “Noooo.”

Renee: “No groping Joxer?”

Rob: “Noooo.”

Renee: “No–”

Lucy: “Rin? Rin? Be a good mate and bring me that water, willya? I’m gettin’ parched lyin’ about like this.”

Renee: “In a minute, Lucy. I’m trying to figure out my character’s motivation here. [to Rob] So let me see if I’ve got this right. You want me to take the water that’s already in my hands and put it in my mouth, then carry it over to Xena over there, right?”

Rob: “Yessss.”

Renee: “And how’m I supposed to give it to her? Spit it back into my hands?”

Lucy: “That was really vexatious, Rin.”

Rob: “Oh for heaven’s sake…”

Renee: “What?”

Rob: “Just…just…just…”

Renee: “WHAT?!”

Rob: “JUST KISS THE GIRL!”

Renee: “Well why didn’t you say so in the first place?!”

Lucy: “Well alright!”

— The End —