A Tale of Being Not Completely Useless (Sage and the Scarecrow)
Project Summary: The following is a short excerpt from my 2004 novel "The Sage and the Scarecrow". At the moment, I am revising the chapters from this book into 3-4 page short stories for posting on my blogs and in literary magazines.
The Novel in Short: Six months after his father has died from cancer, Pierce finds himself in a state of anxiety and crisis. The book follows Pierce through a journey to find his best friend and the only person he thinks can "cure" him.
*This particular short comes from a part of the book I recently cut out. It's always a hard decision when to cut something out. Even though it won't be in a future edition of the book, I still wanted to share it with the world. Hope you enjoy!)
*
Phil asked me if I knew the girl.
“Kind of,” I said, “but not really.”
The angry girl was yelling at Katherine. She spouted a couple of insults involving the words “whore,” “cunt,” and such. I guessed that they had baited her into yelling at Katherine. It probably had something to do with a guy they had both dated, I thought at the time (it seemed like a jealous spat).
Eventually, the girl and the three guys left.
I took Phil into the coffee shop and bought some tea, and treated Phil to another coffee.
I went outside and sat by Katherine, even though I didn’t really know her. She was sitting by herself. She looked strong and independent, but also fundamentally shaken. She was beautiful, as most girls at my university are. But I didn’t care about how beautiful she was. Sitting there next to her, I felt like we could share something.
It felt like the right thing to do.
I asked her if it was okay to sit down, and she said sure. I talked with her and she said that she did remember me from math class. And then I asked her why the girl was so angry and yelling insults at her.
She told me that it was a complicated subject, but that she had kissed her once. “Actually, I kissed her and she kissed me back. And then things escalated from there.”
“Oh,” I said, and suddenly felt sorry that I had asked because the subject sounded like a personal one.
“Yeah, we got pretty physical. And then the next day, she blamed me very what had happened.”
I looked over to Katherine and saw her turn red.
Phil sat next to me.
“This is Phil. He’s into computers and he thinks everything wrong in the world is a government conspiracy. Then he smokes massive amounts of weed and actually becomes less paranoid. His favorite color is magenta.”
“Thanks a lot, dick,” he said to me.
Katherine laughed a little. She looked down. She took out a cigarette and began to smoke.
“It’s so fucking unfair.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Love.”
“Word,” Phil said.
“I’ll tell you the story of a boy, Katherine. There was a boy who would go to biology class every day. He would sit three sits down and one seat over from the girl of his dreams. Every day he would have just enough of a view her watching her play with her hair. The boy works up enough courage to walk up to her and says in a voice that stutters as he speaks, ‘Will you go out with me?’ She turns around and says, ‘What? Who are you?’ I would like to say that that boy is Phil over there, but actually that was middle school. And that was my first experience with love. ‘I love you.’ ‘What who are you?’”
Katherine smiles. “And that’s why, before I sleep every night, I say, ‘Fuck love!’” She takes a long drag from her cigarette.
Phil says it too, “Fuck love!”
“Fuck love!” I say.
“The girl of my dreams turns out to be man in drag. What do we say?” I ask to no one in particular.
“Fuck love!” Phil says catching on.
“Your turn, Phil.”
“The girl of my dreams turns out to be the head of the local KKK. She’ll only have sex with me if I wear the hood.”
“Fuck love!” Katherine and I say in unison, and I see her smile.
“The girl of my dream puts herself in a hateful closet,” she says and looks as if she is about to cry. She doesn’t though. She says, simply, “Fuck love.”
I think that makes everything alright for a while.
*
I really didn’t want to stick around. I felt like Phil and I were just sort of intruding. “I guess I’ll go now. Katherine, I’ll see you around campus.”
I smiled after I said this, and she smiled back, which made me feel good. There was something about her that reminded me of Jennifer. I think it was the way she seemed out of place sometimes. There was also a gentleness to her.
*
Phil looks at me with something that could be described as pride. “You know, Pierce. Every once in awhile, you’re not completely useless.”
The Novel in Short: Six months after his father has died from cancer, Pierce finds himself in a state of anxiety and crisis. The book follows Pierce through a journey to find his best friend and the only person he thinks can "cure" him.
*This particular short comes from a part of the book I recently cut out. It's always a hard decision when to cut something out. Even though it won't be in a future edition of the book, I still wanted to share it with the world. Hope you enjoy!)
*
Phil asked me if I knew the girl.
“Kind of,” I said, “but not really.”
The angry girl was yelling at Katherine. She spouted a couple of insults involving the words “whore,” “cunt,” and such. I guessed that they had baited her into yelling at Katherine. It probably had something to do with a guy they had both dated, I thought at the time (it seemed like a jealous spat).
Eventually, the girl and the three guys left.
I took Phil into the coffee shop and bought some tea, and treated Phil to another coffee.
I went outside and sat by Katherine, even though I didn’t really know her. She was sitting by herself. She looked strong and independent, but also fundamentally shaken. She was beautiful, as most girls at my university are. But I didn’t care about how beautiful she was. Sitting there next to her, I felt like we could share something.
It felt like the right thing to do.
I asked her if it was okay to sit down, and she said sure. I talked with her and she said that she did remember me from math class. And then I asked her why the girl was so angry and yelling insults at her.
She told me that it was a complicated subject, but that she had kissed her once. “Actually, I kissed her and she kissed me back. And then things escalated from there.”
“Oh,” I said, and suddenly felt sorry that I had asked because the subject sounded like a personal one.
“Yeah, we got pretty physical. And then the next day, she blamed me very what had happened.”
I looked over to Katherine and saw her turn red.
Phil sat next to me.
“This is Phil. He’s into computers and he thinks everything wrong in the world is a government conspiracy. Then he smokes massive amounts of weed and actually becomes less paranoid. His favorite color is magenta.”
“Thanks a lot, dick,” he said to me.
Katherine laughed a little. She looked down. She took out a cigarette and began to smoke.
“It’s so fucking unfair.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Love.”
“Word,” Phil said.
“I’ll tell you the story of a boy, Katherine. There was a boy who would go to biology class every day. He would sit three sits down and one seat over from the girl of his dreams. Every day he would have just enough of a view her watching her play with her hair. The boy works up enough courage to walk up to her and says in a voice that stutters as he speaks, ‘Will you go out with me?’ She turns around and says, ‘What? Who are you?’ I would like to say that that boy is Phil over there, but actually that was middle school. And that was my first experience with love. ‘I love you.’ ‘What who are you?’”
Katherine smiles. “And that’s why, before I sleep every night, I say, ‘Fuck love!’” She takes a long drag from her cigarette.
Phil says it too, “Fuck love!”
“Fuck love!” I say.
“The girl of my dreams turns out to be man in drag. What do we say?” I ask to no one in particular.
“Fuck love!” Phil says catching on.
“Your turn, Phil.”
“The girl of my dreams turns out to be the head of the local KKK. She’ll only have sex with me if I wear the hood.”
“Fuck love!” Katherine and I say in unison, and I see her smile.
“The girl of my dream puts herself in a hateful closet,” she says and looks as if she is about to cry. She doesn’t though. She says, simply, “Fuck love.”
I think that makes everything alright for a while.
*
I really didn’t want to stick around. I felt like Phil and I were just sort of intruding. “I guess I’ll go now. Katherine, I’ll see you around campus.”
I smiled after I said this, and she smiled back, which made me feel good. There was something about her that reminded me of Jennifer. I think it was the way she seemed out of place sometimes. There was also a gentleness to her.
*
Phil looks at me with something that could be described as pride. “You know, Pierce. Every once in awhile, you’re not completely useless.”
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