Feijoa-Pear Chutney (and a Master Recipe for Making Any Chutney)

Every fall, a casual stroll through our garden proves to be quite precarious. Why?

Because the ground looks like this.

Dozens of feijoas lay scattered across the mulch, dropping from our two-story-tall feijoa tree with a plop so loud, I sometimes hear them from inside the house. Most of the time, they drop because they’re ripe and ready, as feijoas tend to do — but occasionally we find a few with nibbles on the ends, the castoffs of squirrels enjoying a little snack.

It’s not uncommon to...