in the wind

After unseasonably high temps in Atlanta last Friday, the weather turned and we had a gusty, brisk day that made me glad for my coat and scarf. When I got back to Brooklyn Saturday night, it was rainy and cool; the next day I had to dig out my down coat because temps dropped to the 40s. I still got out for a run that morning and then went to the Lower East Side to have a delicious afternoon tea with a friend. On the way home I discovered that I’d lost my unlimited metrocard. It only had two days left on it so I wasn’t too upset, and I’m looking forward to being home a LOT this week—no appointments, no school visits, just plenty of time to build on the progress I made on Ghosts while in Atlanta. I went to the post office today and sent off dozens of books; I sent out a slew of emails as well, and may never get a response but at least I’m sowing seeds. The one Black male clerk on duty at the post office was his usual unfriendly self, and that made me think of the last NCTE panel I attended before heading home: “’We Lift as We Climb’: Navigating Academe as Persons of Color, Narrating Experiences as Inside-Outsiders.” The five scholars of color expertly addressed concerns raised by the teachers and junior faculty in attendance. One Black male doctoral candidate asked how to identify potential allies when solidarity among Black people couldn’t automatically be counted on–“He may look like me but that doesn’t mean he’s with me.” And lots of heads were nodding…when one young teacher-in-training told a tearful story of being erased in her all-White graduate classes, at least six New Yorkers stood up, spoke out, and otherwise made clear to her that they had her back and had all been through similar situations. I felt odd watching this conversation unfold because I sympathized yet left the academy years ago, and never really had a mentor to turn to—my friends from grad school were my main source of support. And we knew better than to automatically place our trust in the elders who might once have been radical junior scholars like us, but had since mellowed as they moved into administration. So it was encouraging to hear the scholars on this panel express their commitment to using whatever rank and influence they’d attained to defend those coming up behind them. When the panel ended, I gave away most of the books I’d brought to any interested educators in the room. To my surprise, four women of color came up to me and asked, “Are you Zetta Elliott?” One told me about a second grader who never talked about the loss of his mother until he read BIRD. Two others said they used my essays in their classes (it’s nice to know I’m not just whistling in the wind), and another had heard about me from Prof. Ebony Thomas (who could easily be a publicist the way she talks up my books!) I don’t know why that man at the post office is so miserable but since he’s always that way (except with White customers), I’m not going to take it personally. There’s so much negativity on offer right now, I’m choosing to focus on the positive. NCTE was a great experience and it was lovely to meet new people and see old friends—especially the ones from Arkansas who came out to our 8am panel! Everyone in line at the Publisher Spotlight booth in the exhibit hall was gracious and kind, and we blew through the stack of Melena’s Jubilee in under half an hour! If I get Ghosts in the Castle done this week, I’ll publish my 25th book for young readers before the end of the year. I’ve got two potential illustrators interested in The Return, so that book will likely be my first of the new year. We definitely have challenges ahead with this new administration, but in my heart I know we got this. That’s what I choose to believe…