Life Changes in the Blink of an Eye

For the past few months, I’ve been struggling to find time to do anything besides work. Then, like that, I have nothing but time. I’m not going to go into details, but I’ll say that my position wasn’t a good fit for me, so I no longer have it.

The past week has been challenging for me. I go through the range of emotions on a daily basis—from anger to sadness to hurt to annoyed to worried to acceptance—sometimes in multiple cycles. I’m trying to stay optimistic and look at the bright side, but it’s been difficult to do. I worry about how we’re going to pay the bills. I worry about whether my kids are going to have a good holiday season. I worry if I’ll ever find work again.

One of the things I’ve done to try and cope with the situation is look at it like a rejection. As an author, I’m used to getting rejections. I’m used to people telling me no. While it’s distressing for a while, it usually motivates me to pick myself up and move on. I can mourn the rejection and be upset by it, but it doesn’t define me. It’s not who I am, and it drives me to prove that I can be so much better.

It helps looking at it from this perspective, but my self-confidence and self-worth have been shaken. My pride has been wounded.

It’s only been a week, so maybe I need to take more time to nurse the hurt and lick my wounds. I’m not one to sit around and do nothing, but there’s only so much I can do right now—there’s only so many jobs I can apply for. I’m doing what I can and hoping for the best. If you want to send some good juju my way, I’ll happily take it.

So far, I’ve gotten up every morning and worked out, then showered and got on the computer. I’m trying to keep a schedule so I don’t fall into a funk. I feel like I should take this time to clean parts of my house that never get cleaned, but I’m working up to that.

Since I have so much time on my hands, I’ve been able to get through edits for Humanity’s Hope and get those sent back to the editor. It felt good to do something productive. Perhaps I can use that momentum to make up for the last few months and get some more writing done. Perhaps this is a good time to look into marketing and PR.

Above all else, I need to keep my head up and realize that this doesn’t define me. Rejection of any sort doesn’t define me; it only makes me stronger and more determined. Sure, it’s tough and I might cry every so often, but I can’t give up.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on November 15, 2016 23:00
No comments have been added yet.