Warning Labels

Some things in life go without saying…but there’s always the occasional genius who has to be told not to hold the moving end of a chain saw.


Warning Labels


On Cadbury Whole Nut Milk Chocolate bar: “Contains nuts, milk.”


On a massager: “Do not use while unconscious.”


On shin guards: “Cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”


On a fireplace lighter: “Do not use near flame or sparks.”


On a hot beverage cup: “Caution: Hot beverages are hot!”


On a Frisbee: “May contain small parts.”


On an electric cattle prod: “For use on animals only.”


On a cordless phone: “Do not put lit candles on phone.”


On cat litter: “Safe for use around pets.”


On an iPod shuffle: “Do not eat iPod shuffle.”


On a lottery ticket: “Do not iron.”


On a Jet Ski: “Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.”


On sunglasses: “Not suitable for driving under conditions of poor light.”


On a bottle of mineral water: “Suitable for vegetarians.”


On PMS relief medicine: “Do not use if you have prostate problems.”


On a bottle of champagne: “Remove label before placing in microwave.”


On a Slush Puppie: “Ice may be cold.”


On a chain saw: “Do not hold the wrong end of a chain saw.”


On a toilet plunger: “Do not use near power lines.”


On baby lotion: “Keep away from children.”


On a 500-piece puzzle: “Some assembly required.”


On a superhero costume: “You cannot save the world!”


Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader


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Published on November 10, 2016 16:26
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