The Excellent and Admirable Alex Tabarrok, by Bryan Caplan

Here's my speech delivered Friday at the fiftieth birthday of the noble Alex Tabarrok.

Today we celebrate
Alex Tabarrok's fiftieth birthday.  Alas,
fifty years is far too short a time to live alongside such an excellent and
admirable hobbit!

 

If you're here, you're
nerdy enough to know I'm borrowing the words of Bilbo Baggins from chapter 1 of
The Fellowship of the Ring.  Which is fitting, because we're all here to
celebrate a stupendous nerd.  Think about
his descriptors! 

 

Professor. 

Husband of a
professor. 

Father of two future
professors. 

Economist. 

Blogger. 

Online educator. 

Textbook author. 

Libertarian. 

Pharmaceutical
regulation expert. 

Rush fan. 

 

Still, Alex is hardly the biggest nerd I know.  Once in a while I step
inside his office to remind him, "I'm a way bigger nerd than you."  But while the competition is tight, Alex is
definitely the most lovable nerd I
know. 

 

How lovable is Alex
Tabarrok?  Well, I barge into his office
an average of... five hundred times a day. 
Why?  One time in five hundred, I
want his professional opinion on my research. 
The other 499 times, however, I'm bored, and require him to amuse
me.  And he always does!  This man is busy being a professor, husband
of a professor, father of two future professors, economist, blogger, online
educator, textbook author, libertarian, pharmaceutical regulation expert, and
Rush fan.  And he sets all ten hats
aside, dumps the pile of junk off his guest chair, and welcomes me.  He welcomes me!

 

And what a joy his
welcome is.  Alex converses insightfully
on any subject nerdy enough to fit in my head. 
Better yet, he converses with unfailing good humor.  When I open up my mouth and blurt my thoughts,
I don't know if Alex will think I'm right, or even sane.  But I know he'll never speak an angry word to
me. 

 

Why, though, must I
barge in on Alex five hundred times a day? 
To totally misuse a textbook concept, Alex has the Winner's Curse.  Tyler has repeatedly stated that out of
everyone we know, Alex is the best truth-tracker.  He is, quite simply, the most likely to be
correct on any given issue.  Which means,
by the Laws of Magical Thinking, that I can make anything true by convincing
Alex.  Since I believe many outlandish
things, I'm lucky that he's conveniently located thirty feet away from me. 

 

But Alex isn't just a
delightful polymath.  He is my big
brother, who watches out for me and assures me everything will be okay.  A few times in my life, I have been so
distraught, I didn't know where to turn. 
Then I remembered that Alex was only thirty feet away, and has never let
me down.

 

One of my personal
rules is: Never make people bend the truth at your funeral.  Alex, the economist with a heart of gold,
goes much further.  He doesn't even make me
bend the truth at his fiftieth birthday party! 
I love you, Alex.  If you love him
half as much as I do, please raise your glass to this excellent and admirable
Tabarrok.

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