Random Silver Linings

I just spent an hour writing down random thoughts about the election. The post was brilliant but depressing. Then I thought, “Fuck it, let’s look on the bright side . . .

There are four more women of color in Congress now.

Democrat Roy Cooper leads Asshat Pat McCrory by 5000 votes in the NC governor’s race.

We won’t have to hear about Bill Clinton’s blow jobs any more.

Melania as first lady should be good value.

The Freedom Caucus is going to eat Paul Ryan alive.

All the people who love Donald Trump live in places he wouldn’t stop to pee in. All the places that Donald Trump likes are full of people who despise him.

Comey is going to have to work with Trump’s Justice Dept. Welcome to Hell, James. You earned it.

Comey is also going to have to explain to Trump why he can’t Lock Her Up. Good times.

The military is even now hunkering down, braced to refuse Trump’s unconstitutional orders to commit war crimes. They may be conservative, but they’re not insane. Imagine Trump’s twitter feed when they refuse to bomb Virginia for not voting for him.

Our religious passion for the certainty of polls is over. I love you, Nate and Sam, but that was getting out of hand. Also, Sam Wang has to eat a bug.

The Oval Office will be redone in gold.

We can still make Yuge and Sad jokes.

Nothing bonds a team like a strong, despised antagonist. Black Lives Matter, Feeling the Bern, and Pantsuit Nation might forge themselves into something formidable.

This is a nightmare for Democrats, but it’s going to be terrible for the Republicans, too. Donald Trump now owns them. If they thought the Tea Party was a pain in the ass, wait’ll they get a load of four years of The Donald.

Ted Cruz must be questioning his very existence.

We live in interesting times.

But Jesus Fucking Christ, I hate this vote.

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