Rejection is unavoidable

Rejection is one of those things guys love to obsess over in the Game. Or at least the new guys do.Called by its other name, it's failure. It's not just having a nice, polite chat for a few minutes that goes nowhere and she leaves, because that's failure too if you want to take a binary position on pickup/no pickup, but that sort of failure is more akin to going the distance in a boxing match and losing on points. A "fuck off" on approaching is getting knocked clean the hell out in the opening seconds of round one.You can stomach losing after a well played bout, doing your utmost and very best to win, but getting floored immediately is humiliating. You feel like the judgement of the club or bar is on you too; theyknowyou just got blown out. At least in your head anyway.Whenever I get asked about my rejections these days, I'm hard pressed to bring to mind any recent ones, I always have to go back some years to dig one up. That's not because I stopped getting rejected, but because I just stopped attaching as much emotional significance to them. I won't remember anything more recent unless it wasreallybad. I remember the earlier stuff better, because in basic terms, I was more upset by it.Case in point. This is one from the early days. I was in a bar called Cafe Society, it was a nice place not far from where I lived, maybe a five minute walk, and qualified as a local I suppose. I used to like the place but like so many other venues in my city, it's long since closed. The bar/restaurant and adjoining casino are now offices. Shame. Anyway, it was a Friday night, my first stop, and after some prevarication I opened a two-set neighbouring me at the bar.They weren't aggressive or unfriendly in their demeanour, and as is usual in these sorts of scenarios only one of the women spoke, the other remained quiet and enjoyed the show. I can't remember what I said now after all these years, it was probably an opener about the food in the restaurant, one I used to do that a lot back then. In reply to my perfectly reasonable and contrived conversation starter, I basically got a rendition of "Do you mind, we haven't seen each other in a while, and want to catch up on our own."In other words, go away.You can get hit with that one from everywhere from a quiet bar on a Wednesday night, to a club with ear-shattering music. Personally, I'm quite capable of catching up and entertaining other people all on the same night, but some women like to treat it like it's a double-date, and act as though they're a man and you're trying to pickup their date during dinner.It's bullshit of course. If some other dude she happens to know or likes shows up, then the hell with "catching up." It's not even a genuine rejection, as in she's heard your pitch and just isn't interested, it's more theatre than situation. It's practised drama. She's hoping to get a chance to do her "rejection" act in front of her mate, it doesn't matter who it is."I watched this before going out and think that'd be cool to do "So you find yourself a reluctant participant in some chick's little stage play, performed for the benefit of her mate(s) and the thirty second ego stroke that playing diva gives her. That she'll be moaning Monday morning she never meets anyone, and posting amusing singleton memes of pathos on Facebook on Sunday night, can be reconciled with the unique sense of doublethink that women can engage when it comes to the mating game.As per Lucy Liu and her suitors above (and getting back to my tale), I attempted to circumvent the brush off by seguing into some version of, "Oh, you haven't seen each other in a while, why's that?" And was just bluntly, and directly, told to leave, while getting looked full in the eye. From her expression I don't just think she meant leave their company, but the bar.She had that look of "I'm going to really kick off if you don't" too on her face.So, I shut my mouth and literally slunk off with my tail between my legs. The bar wasn't too full, and it wasn't that big so I couldn't hide in the crowd either. To fully comply I had to go and hide around a side corner.I was hiding too. I felt embarrassed; belittled. Of course that was pretty mild, but it was within my first few weeks of playing the Game and it was my first real blow out of significance. I felt it. I also knew I shouldn't "care," be unaffected and not bothered by what anyone thinks, but to this day, whilst I've got a lot better at that stuff, a really harsh blow out will still affect me. Not as much, or for as long, but just like you can never really, truly, kill off Approach Anxiety, you can't kill off having a human reaction to a negative blow against you.A lot of the immediate brush offs are more practised drama than genuine, they really are less personal than getting a few minutes into a set, and then getting told to sling your hook. You don't even need to open to get girls rejecting when they're really on a kick of delusional self-grandeur, all giddy with the bright lights, loud music, and being in their best party dress.One time I was out, in Soul Bar, it was a Christmas weekend, and the place was rammed! I was meeting my wing Gabriel, and we'd arranged to start there. The only space I could stand comfortably was at the back of the room, beside the doorway between the front and back bars. There was a group of girls stood to my right, a few feet away from me. We were close, but not standing on each other's heads or anything, and as I say, the place was full to capacity so there wasn't really a lot of choiceAnyway, I'm on my phone texting Gabriel where to find me in this morass of bodies, when one of the girls, a little blonde, comes up and demands to know, "Why are you standing here?" I ignore her and continue texting. So she says, "We don't want to speak to you!" And with that flounces back to her group: told him!But she wasn't done as a few moments later she comes back, and without speaking, started pushing me. As in "get away, back off!" Like I said, I wasn't even technically standing beside them, but just near them! In the general vicinity in other words!I was a bit annoyed at that asked her to stop shoving me - but she kept at it - and really started putting her back into it. Like, leaning into it. Eventually I got bugged enough by this ridiculous little performance and started walking forward into her, which caused her to slide and stumble back against pushing me. I used my body to push her back until we reached her friends and repeated again, "Stop that!"And that was all. I never put my hands on her or shoved her or verbally threatened her. Then I went back to where I'd been standing. I saw her then conflabbing with her friends, and then ascend the staircase to the DJ both. I saw her speaking to the DJ and pointing at me and the DJ get on his ear piece thing. I assumed she'd just fed the DJ a line of bullshit about me assaulting her or some such, so she got the result of me moving, as I disappeared into the back bar and crowd. I just didn't want the aggravation of giving my verbal defence to a couple of doormen with a crying girl and a few friends backing up her accusations.What that was all about, don't ask me.Another time at Babylon nightclub, I opened a girl at a table, was chatting pleasantly enough, when a girl sat at the tablebehind, a completely different table with a completely different set of friends, came up and pushed me in the back. It was a mild shove, like maybe someone might do brushing by, so I looked round, and then saw her return to her seat, and glare at me.Again, how was I in her space?!But a little later that same night, I was back in the same area, this time about six feet away from her table, and she came up and did it again! Like WTF?! She had to get up, and walk several paces to reach me, in order to shove me out of her 'personal space.'That one was so ridiculous I could only laugh at the time.I've approached women I know from work, or friends of friends, simply to say hello to, and before I can open my mouth have a hand held up to my face - by the friend of the woman I'm about to acknowledge. Doesn't happen a lot, I don't want to paint a picture of an epidemic, but I can recall an instance or two of that. The woman I'm saying hello to will put the friend on stand-down, with a phrase like, "It's okay, I know him." Like it would've been okay to react like that otherwise? In these situations you won't get an apology either. Women view it as their God given right to treat you like shit, and even mutual friends won't see anything wrong in it, or chastise their sisters in any way.So, the point is that you're going to get rejected, and sometimes through absolutely no fault of your own, and there is nothing to be tweaked or learnt in your Game to prevent it. You can exude all the masculine energy, special K (or r)-selection you like, and be all dressed up in your best Alpha outfit... you're still going to get knocked out of the park on your pitch on occasion, because that's what she's lined up to do before you even decided on which type of ball you were going to throw.There is no "never get rejected" method, and things that are irritating will always be so, but less so with more exposure.
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Published on November 08, 2016 12:27
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