Elevator Diatribe
Bad Hair
#hey there, j just said i have cute out-of-shower hair and how did i do that? well, the secret is that your ex-wife kept all the combs—well okay we only had one and i lost it in the custody battle.
>lol…i just don't bother…the horses don't care what i look like in the morning as long as i feed them quick god dammit!
> by the time i'm done with chores it's settled into something that appears normal anyway…
# my co-workers seem to have a problem with it–they are so stodgy–i mean i put gel rub it around and go and i tell them its like a free form sculpture and then someone fixes my collar and gives you that look–the if only you took better care of yourself look–for godsake i have clean socks and underpants what do you people want.
> LOL…L just laughs at me in the morning…but i don't care…as long as the dogs don't bark at me, i figure i'm ok
# did you know that dogs have this serious prada thing going on. they just don't let on. there is a lot about dog world we don't know. they play snooker and they read fashion magazines and put money on the ponies and have deep philosophical conversations on the nature of short-haired domestics and the travails and tribulations of grooming and whether standard poodles are really dogs or simply wedding decorations.
> you know, every once in a while, in the middle of the night, i hear the rustling of paper. when i turn on the light, all i see is the dogs lying in a circle with a newspaper in the middle of them…they're obviously feigning sleep…i'm sure they do research on the chinese crested as well…rat or hippy chiahuahua
# lol. okay now i have to admit i have taken my dog fancy mag into the hair dresser and said see this chinese crested i want my hair to look exactly like that and she nods and asks if i want than chin hair waxed. naw just leave it. it goes with the look.
New Style
> do you get your arms waxed except for a spot on your forearms? that and your boa sticking out of the back of your underwear would complete the look
> i'm sure it would send layce into an elevator frenzy
Bellagio
# well, there was that home wax job where i followed the directions and did what i thought was a test strip as recommended and well, i lost a lot of body hair in the process because i was indecisive. and you know that boa well, it turned into a thong cuz i got it stuck in the elevator door at the Bellagio and they wanted me to do a vegas freak show thing but i had to decline due to the Westminster dog show.
> i'm sure it was a conspiracy by all dog handlers who were vying for that trophy…you made them feel threatened. you deserve your own blue ribbon
> (*)
> S has left for the shower.
