When you want to shake the baby

When you announce that you’re pregnant, a tidal waveof advice follows. Everyone who’s ever seena baby wants to tell you what they know, what happened to them, what you should do. Mostof it is horrifying.

“It’s fantastic what you’re doing. I love the way you’re handling this. It won’t be like what happened to Michelle.”

“What? What happened to Michelle?”

“Oh, did I say Michelle? I didn’t mean to mention that, I’m sorry. Don’t worry…she was a fool. She ate vegetables and drank water. The baby...