Poems from Field Guide to the End of the World: “Martha Stewart’s Guide to the End Times” Plus Some November Cheer

Yes, it does feel a bit like the apocalypse out there these days. My last post was a little heavy. So, to add a little levity to your political/life/strife and time-change/SAD-ness,  here’s a poem from my new book, Field Guide to the End of the World.

Martha Stewart’s Guide to the End Times

Of course you know I love those little drones, so I’ve stockpiled them. Those and lemons. I’ve learned the hard way that life without lemons is barely worth living.

Animal husbandry 101: Fill your own organic pantry. Which breed of chicken will give you the best eggs under stress? Pg. 13.

Leave the fondant til later. You can always do a ganache topping for your cupcakes in a pinch. So simple!

Evacuation map for New York City, Boston, the Hamptons, with scratch-and-sniff icons: page 24.

Survival skills are just like hostess skills: a little preparation, a little spying (with the drones,) a little determined defense-driven hedging of the grounds. Razor wire goes beautifully with your holly thicket.

Guide to storing munitions in attractive wicker boxes: page 52.

If your water isn’t as clear as it should be, use up those charcoal filters first, but after, try a solid iodine tablet in your home-dug well. In these times, it’s a good thing.

Culinary tips for after the mega-store raid: mixed nuts have a long shelf life. Throw in a little rosemary and toast them over an open flame for anytime elegance. More ideas for those family-sized tubs of popcorn: page 68.

Now’s the time to get out your hurricane lamps! They create a lovely glow in these last days.

Here are some more cheerful thoughts – we had two straight days of November sunlight, so we went out, did some gardening (very Martha Stewart-ish,) baked cranberry-apple muffins, checked out the Bellevue Botanical Gardens where I captured some still-blooming white fushcias and Glenn snapped a pic of me with the leaves still turning. Plus, our cats Shakespeare and Sylvia decide the weekend is for sleeping in on – not reading – magazines! It’s a struggle not to smile when ragdolls decide it’s time for you to pay attention to them!