My neighbor just told me he trusts me. I have permission to let the electrician into his house.

“Are you fucking high?” I asked him.

Just kidding. I can be trusted. The last thing I stole was a can of Copenhagen in 1991 and I haven’t been arrested in like 3 years, and that was only cuz we live in an oppressive police state that bans public urination.

Just kidding. I’m housebroken and always use a toilet. Maybe. You don’t know. I’m just some guy on the internet.

But seriously, I’m starting to feel like a member of a community. It takes a village to raise a Mike, you know.

BLOCK PARTY!