what’s at stake on Tuesday
My friend K. is an eighth grade English teacher, a job he loves with an infectious passion. K. works tirelessly to instill in his students a love of reading and of good literature, from Tuck Everlasting to Johnny Tremain. In his classes, the students write every day. And then they read their work aloud, every single one of them volunteering in turn to stand up in front of their classmates and share their innermost thoughts. Secure in the knowledge that they will not be judged, ridiculed, or bullied, these thirteen-year-olds become better writers. They go deep, they stretch, they grow, and they come to trust one another with their most tender thoughts, struggles, and observations.
Such a sense of security and civility in an eighth-grade classroom doesn’t just happen.
This culture of respect is created, moment by moment and day by day, by a teacher who lets his students know that from the moment they walk through the door, their voices will be heard and honored. K. teaches, by daily example and through ongoing heartfelt discussions with his students, that their greatest achievement in 8th grade English isn’t a perfect test score, but the environment they create together in the classroom – a safe haven in which kindness rules, acceptance is a given, and each person’s opinions matter.
But these days, my friend is discouraged. Two weeks ago he asked his students to take on the topic of “My America,” the theme of this year’s VFW essay contest. As he read through the papers written by his young students, he was stunned to find words of hatred and aggression, words that no school teacher would ever wish to hear in a classroom.
A sample: “In my America, all the foreign immigrants would be sent home.” “In my America, Hillary Clinton would be in jail.” “In my America Hillary Clinton wouldn’t be allowed to run for President, she would be locked up.”
Many of the children’s essays were rife with accusations and threats: Hillary Clinton is a murderer. Hillary Clinton has forced women to have abortions. Hillary Clinton is a crook. Hillary deserves to die.
Clearly, the kind of civilized, compassionate discourse my friend strives to nurture in his classroom is not much valued around the dinner table in the homes of some of his students.
As Tuesday’s election draws near, I know many of us share a sense of profound concern for the outcome. Last summer, after writing an essay here suggesting that we must all become better listeners, I was stunned by the bitter, dismissive responses from readers who had simply assumed I shared their political views.
Upon learning that I support Hillary Clinton, a number of these women, many of whom have enjoyed my writing for nearly twenty years, let me know that they were done with me. I watched the cancelations roll in.
“You should keep your political opinions to yourself,” wrote one reader. “Stick to writing about parenting and family life.”
At the same time, others wrote that although they agreed with me, they were too afraid to express their real thoughts at work, at church, or even in their own families.
I thought long and hard about all of these responses. Perhaps I’m naïve, but I was surprised that anyone would choose to cut off a relationship with me because we see things differently. But I was deeply disturbed, too, that there are so many women in 2016 who feel silenced, women who are afraid to engage in conversations about their own values, their hopes and fears, and their political beliefs.
Should it really require courage and a thick skin to voice an opinion in one’s home or school or place of worship? Are we really willing to raise a generation of children on a diet of inflamed rhetoric, violence, and threatened aggression toward those who are different or who don’t share our beliefs?
Today, I am haunted by the specter of the grandchildren I one day hope to have, and the kind of country they will inherit. I’m not alone. Those of us who care about the health of the planet and the preservation of our democracy have cause to worry as the polls show the election tightening, with Donald Trump as the possible victor.
My good friend Maude Odgers and I have been engaged in a conversation about all of this over the last few days. Neither of us loves politics, and yet we are each committed to participate in this process. Neither of us relishes debate, yet we are each doing the best we can to be well-informed, thoughtful citizens. Neither of us feels excited about this election. And yet, we agree that too much is at stake for us to remain silent. Neither of us feels comfortable being a target of wrath in public. And yet, each of us feels a sense of responsibility at this moment, much as we might prefer to simply sit back and “hope for the best” on Tuesday.
That kind of “safe” silence seems increasingly untenable as we continue to hear from people we care about who say they’re so disgusted with both candidates that they are not going to vote at all. Others say they are just going to write in a name, or that they will vote for a third-party candidate.
In response to these “Never-Trump-But-Not-Hillary” voters, Maude began to craft a letter to send to all the women in her circle, in the hope that her words might inspire others to think more deeply about what’s at stake in this election. The two of us sent the text of this letter back and forth between us a few times yesterday, editing, revising, wanting to get the language right.
It took courage for my friend to write such an emphatic plea and it took more courage for her to send it out, even to a small group of friends.
With Maude’s permission, I share her letter here, within a much larger circle. If it makes sense to you, we hope you, too, will summon your courage and share it. Or, go ahead and draft your own version.
This time, every vote matters. Human decency and dignity are on the line. We urge you to add your voice to ours. Here’s Maude’s letter. May it ripple outward from here.
“On Election Day, America faces a choice, and it’s not a tough one, but a stark one. It is the difference between tolerance and intolerance. It is the difference between respect and disrespect. It is the difference between a politician with some flaws and a flaw threatening our politics.” —Charles M. Blow, NYT, November 3, 2016.
My dear women friends,
I have never before sent out an email urging my friends to vote. But this year I fear for our world, not just our country, which is facing danger if Donald Trump is elected. I know some of you may not like the choices and are choosing not to vote. But I ask you to reconsider that decision. Every non-vote is a vote for Trump.
There are many things I fear about Donald Trump (the list grows by the day). His words and track record speak volumes about the man he really is and isn’t. He has worked his entire adult life for his own benefit, not the benefit of others. His is a record of self-aggrandizement. It is also a well-documented record of misogyny. Donald Trump rates womens’ bodies, sexually assaults women and brags about it, insults women, and has shown no remorse for these transgressions.
Hillary Clinton’s record is far from perfect. However, throughout her long career she has always fought tirelessly for the benefit of others, including: women’s rights, children, education, health care, minorities, the environment, and many others. Hers is a record of service, extending back for thirty years.
In recent days, as the headlines have returned to Hillary Clinton’s emails, many people have come forward with their own personal stories of how Hillary Clinton quietly stepped in to help them when they were in need. Why aren’t those emails leaked, or those stories aired on the evening news? Because they don’t make for titillating headlines. And yet, I feel it’s important to remember that Hillary Clinton has been fighting for women of all ages her entire adult life. This is the HRC I support.
As women I feel we must not forget the many courageous women who preceded us and fought for our right to vote. In many countries women still cannot vote. And in many countries women’s voices are not allowed to be heard—and if they do speak out, they face prosecution and even death. We need to be a voice for all those women who cannot speak. We need to honor the women who worked on our behalf so that we could vote. We need to protect women’s health care and our right to make decisions about our own bodies. We need to protect the human rights of all people. It is not only our moral obligation but our privilege.
Our country does indeed face a stark choice. I don’t believe you need to embrace or even agree with all of Hillary Clinton’s positions in order to vote for her. I do believe that an America with Donald Trump at the helm is not a country most of us would want to live in.
Also, it is important that we take our civic responsibility seriously and go to the polls to vote for the hard-working and thoughtful people who are running to guide our states forward. Their voices and hard work deserve our support, too.
I attach this opinion (partially quoted above) from Charles Blow of the NYT, which says it all.
Trump is an Existential Threat
And here, from the other side, are two thoughtful essays by highly respected Republicans who will be supporting Hillary Clinton on Tuesday:
In Defense of Politics Now More than Ever
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and these opinions. It’s important that we all vote. It is equally important that we, as women, continue to make our voices heard.
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