I think the real conspiracy is that there are no conspiracies.

I think knockon wood should be a real wood.

“This end table is gorgeous. Oak?”

“Knockon wood. It’s new.”

I think we should keep the Electoral College. Why let New York, Texas, Florida, and California decide every presidential election? I mean, have you met people from these states? Jesus.

I think Metallica should’ve broken up after And Justice For All.

I think all animal shelters should be NO KILL.

I think there should be Beer Stamps for poor drunks.

I think Kurt Russell is an underrated actor.

I think I should be able to buy pomegranates year round.

I think I sprechen sie deutsche now, baby.

I am therefore I think, I think.

What do you think?