What is happiness?
“After all, what is happiness? Love, they tell me. But love doesn’t bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it’s a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it’s sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we’re doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony.” ? Paulo Coelho, The […]
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Chinju
(new)
Nov 01, 2016 09:08AM
Super TruE :-)
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So very true. I recently found true love although it wasn't with my wife of 28 years. This love has brought to me every emotion there is from pure ecstasy to an all time suicidal low. It did bring me happiness and memories still bring me happiness when I look back on what was. I think love brings happiness (among other things) but I don't think happiness is love.
Exactly, extasy and agony until you find that happy place in the middle you call comfort. But then, is this truly love, or just settling?
Pam wrote: "Exactly, extasy and agony until you find that happy place in the middle you call comfort. But then, is this truly love, or just settling?"I personally would call it "settling".
Douglas wrote: "Pam wrote: "Exactly, extasy and agony until you find that happy place in the middle you call comfort. But then, is this truly love, or just settling?"I personally would call it "settling"."
Douglas, I agree with you, we tend to settle for "security" reasons as we get older. My apologies on the misspelling of ecstasy.
But "security" and "settling" is no fun.
True, security and settling aren't as fun as falling in love. It is the excitement, the adrenaline, and anticipation until it becomes the "norm." You either find ways to keep the excitement going or move from relationship to relationship or job to job. Barbara Sher has a term she uses called "scanners." People who lose focus and interest quickly as something new crosses their path. Think about all the books you have purchased and read part of but never finished.
I think you have hit the nail on the head. It would be nice to never lose the excitement and adrenaline of being in love. I personally have been trying to bring back the excitement in my marriage and so far things have been good. I think the term "scanner" is a good definition for what you describe.
From your comments, it sounded as if you were or had been struggling with a relationship issue. I applaud you for trying to bring the excitement back into the relationship. Treat them as you did when you first started dating. Listen to what they say, care about what they care about, find time for romance, make it special and not just scheduled, and many other things. This, I believe will bring you back around to the "happiness" part of the discussion where we began.
