An excerpt from upcoming novel #CTP

After the class, Tani was chatting with girls in the campus garden. I was still pursuing every movement of Tani. I observed the way she chatters, the way she giggles. She was looking elegant in pink kurta and white legging. As nature call, Abhi came to me and start poking me.

‘What’s going on?’ Abhi asked. He put hand on my shoulders.

‘Nothing, just looking for you.’ I said. I put off his hand from shoulder.

‘Looking for me or looking for her.’ Abhi said. He pointed towards Tani.

We laughed simultaneously. Everyone looked at us. Tani gave the impression of being there. She took a glance at us. I liked the way she looks, turned back spreading her stepped cut hair as if bollywood actress sparks on screen.

‘You should approach her.’ Abhi said.

‘I want but, can’t.’ I said.

‘You can do.’

‘Direct marketing.’ Abhi said.

Abhi was suggesting me to approach Tani straight forward and propose her. My mind was generating idea to approach lead. In directing marketing, we have to meet the person face to face.

‘Yes, I can.’

‘I will generate lead.’ I said. I pumped up confidence in myself.

I forwarded a step in the garden towards Tani. Feeling little bit nervousness but, going for commitment. It was few yards to reach at her. Every step was having strong initiative. I was about to reach there. I passed nearby and didn’t approach her. I couldn’t dare to express my sensations. It was not as simple as direct marketing.

*

     In the metro train, Abhi was mocking at me about the incident in which I couldn’t generate lead to propose her. I was thinking, I was just a step away to her. I must have done it. What happened to me and why I was so introvert? How long I would be like that.

Swiftly train stopped. We got out from train. I sat on platform chair. Abhi joined me.

‘What happened?’ Abhi said.

‘I don’t know.’ I said.

‘If you can’t do this, forget about her.’ Abhi said as to stimulate me.

‘Not at all, I like her.’ I said.

‘If you like, you have to express yourself in front of her.’

‘How she come to know that you like her.’

‘Until you express your feeling.’ Abhi said.

‘Would she accept me?’

‘At the same time, does she like me? I said. I quizzed myself.

‘Doesn’t matter.’

‘You like her, she will like you later.’ Abhi said.

‘It matters.’

‘We must know each other’s resemblance.’ I said.

‘You are such a stupid guy.’

‘You are loser enough to think like that.’ Abhi said.

‘You right from your perspective.’

‘But I will give some time to analyze all the factors of affection.’ I said.

I didn’t want to be loser. That’s why I wanted to prepare myself before proposing her. It is as scuba diving without knowing about your breathe. I like myself and never want to be defeated.

***