Write On The Water work guidelines…
C.E. Grundler
I'd like to thank Mike for covering for me last week. Aside from a single root-canal twenty years ago, my teeth and I have gotten along fairly well. Unfortunately that old root-canal decided to abscess in the most painful way, leading to some unpleasant complications that landed me in the emergency room and then the oral surgeon's office. All is better now, but it certainly knocked me off my feet for a few days. And, in an odd way, it ties into the post I never managed to complete for last Thursday: the Write On The Water work environment.
It wasn't all that long ago when my wardrobe fell into two distinct categories: office clothes and boat clothes. Half my closet consisted of tidy black skirts and button-down blouses, blazers and slacks. An organizer hung from inside the door with compartments for a number of pumps and other 'work' shoes. On the opposite end of the spectrum were the clothes I spent my non-nine-to-five hours in: worn cargo pants and jeans, cut-offs, tank tops, tee-shirts with speckles of dried paint and epoxy, LL Bean boots, beat-up Docksiders and a pair of scuffed up sandals. At times the office clothes might see the boat, if only for a moment before I hastily changed into something more appropriate, but the boat clothes NEVER saw the office. But the other day I realized I hadn't even gone into one half of my closet in months, and that made me smile. I definitely like the dress code here at my new job over the old one.
And that led me to thinking about the employee handbook that once ruled my days. Every detail of office life was spelled out with specific guidelines, from vacation and sick time to appropriate behavior and dress. I began to consider what a Write On The Water Writer's Handbook might contain, relevant to our particular work environment. This is just a rough idea; if you have anything to add please feel free to speak up.
ANTI-DISCRIMINATION POLICIES:
Write On The Water (WOW) prohibits discrimination based upon race, religion, sex, or preference for power or sail. In addition, all writers are free to follow their choice of publishing, be it traditional or independent.
WORK SCHEDULES:
WOW writers are expected to keep whatever schedules they deem suitable for managing to meet their personal goals for word counts, while at the same time attending to whatever parts aboard their boat that have chosen the least convenient moment to snap, rip, leak, seize or otherwise follow the laws set forth by Murphy.
Time off for vacation, holiday, sick days or any other reason are all at the writer's discretion. The writer is permitted to take as many days off as often as needed, without having to answer to any manager or supervisor. In the event, however, that a writer is unable to post on their assigned posting day, please be sure to contact another of your fellow writers and arrange coverage so readers can continue to enjoy new content.
DRESS CODE:
The following list is a guideline of what attire is appropriate and inappropriate for WOW writers.
APPROPRIATE
Shorts, cut offs
Flip-flops
T-shirts
Tank tops
Boat shoes
Denim jeans, preferably faded and/or ripped
Paint stained sweatshirts
INAPPROPRIATE
Dress shirts
Suits
Formal office attire
Heels or hard-soled dress shoes
WOW does not endorse casual Fridays. All days of the week are considered equally casual and writers may spend as much time as they see fit writing in their bathrobes or similar attire if they so desire.
WORKPLACE VIOLENCE:
Any physical assault, threatening behavior, or verbal abuse makes for lively mystery fiction. If you are writing within this genre, the violence you may utilize can include but is not limited to: Physical assaults; Beatings/stabbings; Shootings; Attempting to cause physical harm, (i.e., striking, pushing, or other aggressive acts against another person); and verbal threats of harm either actual or implied. Be imaginative!
BENEFITS:
Writers for WOW have the option to view sunrises and sunsets at their leisure, free from the concern that they should be commuting to or from some dreary cubicle. WOW writers may enjoy a workplace that is free of the stress and anxiety caused by unrealistically demanding bosses, lazy co-workers, pointless water-cooler gossip, downsizing, increased workloads and impossible goals. WOW writers may sail to beautiful locations and visit the area's beaches and pubs, observing the locals, all under the heading of research. Writers may disregard everything stated here if, however, they find these conflicts with their normal mode of operation.
All WOW writers are encouraged to expand upon this list with any other guidelines they would like to see included.
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