TURN THE STRANGE – An Excerpt

I’ve been pretty busy lately, and I wanted to show you a few pages of a script I finished recently. It’s about Emily, a woman guitarist who’s trying to start a Heavy Metal band with a handicap she won’t allow to get in her way. I had a lot of fun writing it, she’s a lot of fun, and I hope you have a lot of fun reading her.

FADE IN:

INT. EMILY’S BEDROOM – MORNING

An old alarm clock goes off, glass absent from its face,

ringing its bells like a caffeinated woodpecker. The woman

it’s trying its best to win the attention of currently has

her head buried under a pillow. A feeble attempt to stop the

day. She eventually gives up and tosses the pillow at the

clamor. Or rather, tries to. She overestimates how far the

clock is by a few feet. She then lets out a defeated sigh

and sits up.

EMILY VERDA’S hair sticks up at all sorts of angles,

compliments of sleep. She sits on the edge of her bed, hands

on thighs, wearing a simple spaghetti-string top and pajama

pants. After slapping her legs rhythmically, she almost

immediately switches from being exhausted to being wide

awake, then turns off the alarm.

EMILY

You’re gonna get them today.

INT. EMILY’S BATHROOM – MOMENTS LATER

EMILY brushes her teeth while humming the same four notes

over and over. Faster, slower, higher, lower. The fingers on

her free hand, black nail polish chipped, rap upon the

mirror at the same tempo changes. Her eyes in the mirror are

unfocused, yet there’s still thought behind them.

She locks onto a particular tempo, repeating it twice, then

smirks before she spits into the sink.

INT. EMILY’S BEDROOM – MOMENTS LATER

A proper view of the BEDROOM shows amazing organization

skills. Apart from the pillow slumped in the corner and the

messy bed, everything is exceptionally neat and tidy. Three

other stand-out features are the lack of closet doors, of an

entrance door, and of any mirror. Just outside the doorway

is an astroturf rug.

At the closet and in a terrycloth robe, EMILY chooses

something to wear for the day. Her hair is now combed flat,

and her lips are painted black. She quickly flicks through

hung shirts, pants, t-shirts, skirts, and dresses, giving

some a stroke or two before passing them up.

She goes to a window and opens it. She then licks a palm and

sticks into the world…

EMILY

Pants and a button-up.

…then gets what she needs while wiping her hand on her

robe.

INT. EMILY’S KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER

EMILY sits on the counter, twixt the sink and toaster, as

she tosses the last bit of one waffle in her mouth. A laptop

sits on the table. She then snatches another waffle from the

toaster. She tears off pieces and eats them, avoiding her

lipstick. While this is going on, she hums the melody she

came up with in the BATHROOM while tapping her bootheels on

the cabinet.

Until she almost chokes on a waffle bit.

She tosses what’s left of the breakfast pastry in the

garbage, in a fit of betrayal, then briskly washes her hands

in the sink. Her boots make the plastic mat on the floor

click and pop.

INT. EMILY’S LIVING ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Sliding on her armor, a well-loved frock coat, EMILY

prepares to leave her apartment. Next, she tucks a pocket

recorder and a flipphone inside the coat. By the door is a

beaten-up guitar case ready to be slung over her shoulder

like a sword. On a short bookcase is her helmet by way of a

top hat and sunglasses. Both are vertically-striped black

and white, with the hat having a bit more business. The

black stripes are felt, the white are like silk, and a ring

dangles from the brim. A finger can easily fit through it,

which she does as she positions the hat so that the ring

hangs over her left ear.

Ready to face the day, she grabs one last thing: her folding

cane.

EXT. STREETS – MOMENTS LATER

EMILY walks with a little pep in her step as her cane goes

TAK-TAK-TAK-TAK, making sure that she doesn’t bump into

anyone (while not really caring if she does).

She points a twirling finger in the camera’s general

direction as she taks and trots along.

EMILY

‘Ello, dear viewer. Emily’s my name

and I was put on this planet for

two reasons: shredding guitars and

bumping into furniture. If the cane

didn’t give the game away, I’m a

bit blind. Don’t feel sorry for me,

though. You’re the ones who have to

see the state the world’s in.

She takes her finger away and continues walking to…

INT. QUEST CAFE – MOMENTS LATER

The bell over the door DINGS as EMILY enters. After folding

her cane, she approaches the register while getting her credit card.

At the counter, a clerk waits with a mug full

of the hot stuff.

CLERK

Ms. Verda! We ran out of white

chocolate last night, but we have a

nice–

EMILY stops in her tracks, flicks straight her cane, and

doffs her hat.

EMILY

I bid thee good day.

CLERK

Just kidding, just kidding!

EMILY

Don’t toy with my heart today.

EMILY folds her cane and continues her morning routine

towards her white chocolate mocha topped with whipped cream

and coconut sprinkles.

CLERK

I’m a wage slave, I have to get as

much harmless fun as I can to pass

the 9-5.

EMILY

And normally, I’d understand. Nay,

I’d encourage. But I need all my

strength for later.

EMILY swipes her card and enters her PIN as the CLERK

extends the mug.

CLERK

Oh? Why? Oh yeah, you’re still

doing those auditions. How long

have you been holding them?

EMILY

Doesn’t matter.

EMILY takes the mug and her receipt.

EMILY

(cont’d)

I’m gonna get them today.

CLERK

How many are you meeting?

EMILY

Two, but two’s all I need. Thanks

for letting me post my ad here.

That’s how they found me.

CLERK

Ah, no problem.

EMILY

Kayley and Leslie. Gonna have a

chick band.

CLERK

You just be sure to play your

second gig here.

EMILY

“Second”?

CLERK

Who’s ever great their first time

out?

EMILY

Har har har. I was gonna leave a

tip, but now…

CLERK

You can’t tip plastic. Besides, you

already swiped your card.

EMILY

Maybe I was gonna get a few

macaroons.

CLERK

Were you?

EMILY starts to step away as she sips her coffee, then turns

back to the CLERK.

EMILY

Do you know Kayley and Leslie? All

I have are texts that my phone

reads aloud.

CLERK

I only know you because you’re a

creature of habit and this place is

lucky enough to be within sniffing

distance of your apartment.

EMILY

Heh, too true, too true.

EMILY continues to an empty booth, but not before…

CLERK

Good luck today, Emily. Really.

She gestures a salute with her mug, then sits. She then

takes a big gulp, points a circling finger towards the

camera, and sets her mug down with a big whipped cream

moustache on her face.

EMILY

I know what you’re thinking, but

chick bands rock. No, you’re

thinking that other thing and, yes,

I know it’s there. No, no, you’re

thinking that OTHER other thing,

and we’ll never know if Neo

would’ve knocked over that vase.

It’s best to just let it go, I’ve

lost far too much hair over that.

Roy Orbison and José Feliciano.

Drawing blanks? I’m drawing

circles. They’re two of the best

guitarists to have ever lived. They

also found that blindness didn’t

take away frets and chords. Herman

Li is a beast with a guitar THAT HE

PLAYS WITH THE WRONG HAND, just

like Hendrix! So my heritage has

that covered because we all come

from the same womb. Joan Jett,

Bonnie Raitt, Joni Mitchell, Nancy

Wilson.

She brushes the dairy facial hair off with her finger, then

eats it with a grin.