If I Said I Don't Have Time to Write
Some of the things I have been reading: 1. The Art of Living by [Roman stoic] Epictetus (nonfiction, physical book, library borrow)2. My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante (novel, physical book, own copy)3. The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell (novel, ebook, library borrow)4. The End of the Affair by Graham Greene (novel, audio book from audible, read by Colin Firth)5. Debris by Kevin Hardcastle (short story collection physical book, own copy)6. The poem "Troubadours, Etc" by Mary Syzbist, over and over. 7. A friend's unpublished manuscript (novel, physical copy)8. A friend's unpublished manuscript (poetry, physical copy)Each of these I am reading in different contexts. Some things I read to get me in the mood for writing, and some things I read for my own personal growth, and some for pleasure, and some for research, and some for all of those reasons. I listen to audiobooks when I'm driving, and I have fallen in love with some books this way, The End of the Affair, most recently.
I was on the way to my desk to scrawl this line from The End of the Affair:
My reaction to this was mostly that it was a very sweet and affectionate note from a complicated child, and I felt glad that she would tell me this. Several months ago when my husband was going away for a longish conference, she told me she wished it was me going instead, because I'm so mean. That hit me hard--it hurt--and my reaction to that was that I ought to do more for my kids, to have more moral courage and drew all sorts of conclusions that were mainly blown out of proportion. I'm doing my best. I've been doing my best. However, I've been working tons in the last six months, as well as finding time to write; a few days a week I leave before they wake and get home after dinner. But I'm also much much happier.
It would be no good for any of us if I sacrificed all of myself to them; it would be no good if I gave up that reading and writing time to be only with them; it would be no good for us if I said I don't have time to write, I have three kids.
A week later, my husband found a similar note. It urged him to leave his job at the university and suggested that he get a job at a pizza place instead, because he's so good at making pizza and it would be a job "better than most". Here is a child. Her grasp of the math of our lives is new.
I was on the way to my desk to scrawl this line from The End of the Affair:
Happiness annihilates us.when I came across this note:
My reaction to this was mostly that it was a very sweet and affectionate note from a complicated child, and I felt glad that she would tell me this. Several months ago when my husband was going away for a longish conference, she told me she wished it was me going instead, because I'm so mean. That hit me hard--it hurt--and my reaction to that was that I ought to do more for my kids, to have more moral courage and drew all sorts of conclusions that were mainly blown out of proportion. I'm doing my best. I've been doing my best. However, I've been working tons in the last six months, as well as finding time to write; a few days a week I leave before they wake and get home after dinner. But I'm also much much happier. It would be no good for any of us if I sacrificed all of myself to them; it would be no good if I gave up that reading and writing time to be only with them; it would be no good for us if I said I don't have time to write, I have three kids.
A week later, my husband found a similar note. It urged him to leave his job at the university and suggested that he get a job at a pizza place instead, because he's so good at making pizza and it would be a job "better than most". Here is a child. Her grasp of the math of our lives is new.
No comments have been added yet.
