So, a brothel was just busted in this town.

A fucking brothel! How cool is that? It was right down the road, a big purple house with even purpler trim. I drove by it all the time. I'm gonna snap a photo of it and post it on Tumblr cuz I'm awesome like that.

Each day, I like this town more and more.

So I'm all wondering what the girls were like. Were they hot? Were they even girls? Were they drug-addled zombies with scrawny legs and missing teeth?

Personally, I like to imagine them as hot and totally in love with their jobs, saying things like, "I've always been a very sexual person!" You know, Playboy TV prostitutes.

But they weren't streetwalkers, that's for sure. They had a madam, a whole business going on, an actual 'client list', and I totally missed it. I even google "Brothels in my area" on a nightly—nay—hourly basis.

Nothing.