Too Stupid to Live Tuesday: Not Enough Hours in the Day Edition

1. Time

I hate time. Because I don't have enough of it. I can't find enough hours to write books, promote books, take care of kids, cook, clean, and still call my mother every once in a while. I need at least 6 more hours in each day. And yet, when I'm waiting to hear back about something (like a book I submitted, or a house we put in an offer on—no we didn't get it, thanks for asking though), time slows to a lurching crawl. Damn you, time! Who made you the boss of me?

2. Marketing

Here's the thing about marketing and promotions—many awesome authors say you don't have to do it. Write awesome books, they say, and lot of 'em! Don't waste your time with guest-posts, trinkets, and paid ads. Just write, write, write! But I wonder—if the author in question wasn't promoting, how would I be reading the article/guest post/etc in which they're saying they're not promoting.

Dude, you are promoting *right now!* (Yes, I totally blew your mind.)

Nevertheless, I hate marketing my work. I'd much rather say nice things about other peoples' books than my own. So moving forward I'm not going to market at all. At least for a little while. I wanna know if it makes a difference one way or the other. In the meantime I'll just write awesome books and see if anyone reads them.

3. Paper

The paper-is-better-than-ebook argument is so 2009.

4. Global Warming

I'm gonna go ahead and call it: global warming has f*cked up my summer royally. Sure, maaaaaybe it's not global warming. Tell that to the people living through 105 degree days without air conditioning. Here in Seattle, global warming was slated to make it wetter, not hotter. I didn't believe them! How, I asked, could it possibly get wetter!

Well, it did. And it sucks. The only summer suckier than this summer was last summer. I hoped global warming would turn

No house for you! Your bid came in too late!

Seattle into Northern California. Instead, it's making us into Southern Alaska. Oh gee, thanks global warming! #yousuck

5. Real Estate

Oh real estate, you fickle bitch! I looked five years for a house in our neighborhood with an office with a separate entrance in our price range…and you provide one. But you put it on the market while I was out of town. And someone else bought it. You dangled the home of my dreams in front of my nose, only to snatch it away. If prices go up in the next 6 months, real estate, I'm going to hunt you down and bust a cap in your a$$! (That is, when I figure out how to bust a cap.)

And here, dear readers…to make you feel better. A little fuzzy, fuzzy, cute, cute!