Beyond Martin: for Tommy Ford by Stephane Dunn

Beyond Martin: for Tommy Fordby Stephane Dunn | @DrStephaneDunn | NewBlackMan (in Exile)
Years ago when one of my blood big brothers Steve said he was bringing one of his closest friends to my house, he left out the fact that it was Tommy Ford. That would have been okay except for the fact that I was a Martin show watcher, the kind who still watched reruns of the reruns. Beyond Martin, I had laughed to the point of crying watching him alongside Redd Foxx in Harlem Nights, ooh ahh-ed over him with Freddie, Whitley and Kim when Tommy played Jaleesa’s smooth talking, cheating ex husband in an episode of A Different World, and resented his bad-ass cop persona on my favorite detective show, New York Undercover. Yeah, I knew he and my brother were tight and had even been on the phone with them together a time or two, but the surprise visit to my house was different.
Tommy took us out to eat along with several of his friends at a Denny’s right around the corner. After an hour, I was over being startled that a piece of iconic TV had walked into my living room. I was an admirer of the person Tommy Ford. It wasn’t long before a few folk dining there and some workers realized why he looked and sounded familiar; word reached the kitchen and a steady stream of folk came to the table. Some wanted autographs most wanted a picture, and all greeted him like a familiar friend. Tommy seemed to never have met a stranger, and he gave everybody the same warmth. He played good naturedly along when they just had to him hear him say in Tommy Strawn form, “What’s up dawg?”
Over the years, I'd witness the same behavior time and time again. He really was hilarious with his fine humor and big laugh, but I grew to love him for his authenticity, for the loyalty, big heart, and gratefulness for life he had in abundance. He adored his children and extended family in and outside the industry. He made my son laugh and would swoop him up high to my son’s delight. We claimed each other as big brother and little sis. He’d drop by on campus occasionally and a time or two he went along to class with me, surprising my students and answering their questions about his career or the industry. He used them on projects he was working on when I asked and connected them to others for more work. It was rare that I called, and he didn’t answer right then or call back soon and the same was true if he called. We’d check in just to see how things were going or laugh over he and Steve’s latest antics. If he needed me to be on a panel or wanted to team up on a project it was an automatic yes, and he did the same for me and for the film and television program at Morehouse.
In November 2015, he was to be one of the special guests for the film program’s Norman Lear night but that morning - rare time I couldn't answer - he left a long message, full charm on display. He'd gotten the dates mixed up thinking it was the following evening after he returned to Atlanta. ‘You know, your big brother love you, right? I'mma make it up to you, I got you. I already have a replacement.’ When I called him back, I did my best to give him a hard time in between laughing because of course he was humoring me out of my genuine disappointment; I told him he was irreplaceable.  I’ve kept that voicemail from months ago, saving it over and over rather than deleting it. I was thinking someday it would give us a good laugh, and it was my ‘remember when you said you were going to make it up to me’ proof.
I last talked to Tommy on Wednesday, October 4, 2016, exactly one week before his passing. We talked about his knee surgery and joked about how he was probably a terrible patient since he liked to be at full speed. Though he was off his feet, he was working when I called editing his documentary on bullying, a project close to his heart and one both my life partner and I had some small participation in. He sounded tired but the same laughter and loving life spirit emanated from his voice. I told him to behave and not worry so much about getting all the work done. Our chat ended the same way it always did: ‘Love you, Love you too.
Tommy Ford was super-talented for real. He could tap into the right temperature of a character so nothing seemed false whether it was his Martin show Tommy or other characters no matter the absurdity of the joke; he deftly moved back and forth from drama to comedy. He was a big-bodied man, but his heart for people and for making the most out of the blessing of his life were bigger. I am thankful I got to know it.
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Writer and professor Stephane Dunn, PhD, is the director of the Cinema, Television, & Emerging Media Studies program at Morehouse College. She lectures frequently on film and contemporary issues of race and gender in popular culture. Her work has appeared in The Atlantic, Ms., TheRoot.com, Ebony.com, CNN.com, The Chronicle of Higher Education, and a number of edited books and journals., She is the author of the 2008 book,  She is the author of the 2008 book, Baad Bitches & Sassy Supermamas: Black Power Action Films (U of Illinois Press). Follow her on Twitter: @DrStephaneDunn.  www.stephanedunn.com