Why Can't My Kids Use a House Phone?

I can't believe it's come to this. This is now my reality....my kids don't know how to use a phone. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a smidge. My daughters can actually use a phone, but they just don't know how.

Am I the only father that feels this way? It's those cursed smart phones that have ruined my girls' ability to answer a house phone that is ringing and have a normal conversation with the person on the other end. And, God forbid, if they have to take a message!

My daughters won't answer the house phone...period. The phone rings, and to them that is the sound that only old people respond to. In this world of smart phones, and texts and Instagram and Twitter and SnapChat (I'm told that it's now just called "Snap"), there's really no reason to actually talk to someone on a phone. If for some reason you feel the need, then you just FaceTime them like Future-Marty McFly does in Back to the Future II.

I am so nervous to take a shower in my house when my wife is not home. I announce to my twelve and seventeen year old angels that I will be in the shower if I am needed. As soon as I turn on the water, I hear the ringing of the phone. So, what do I do? I yell over the din of the shower, "Get the phone! I'm in the shower!"

Ring.

"SOMEONE ANSWER THE PHONE! I'M SHOWERING!"

Ring.

Of course, like an idiot, I turn off the shower, try to towel off, and in doing so I hear the answering machine pick up. So, why am I rushing? Because, I am afraid that the person who is calling also lacks phone skills, and will not leave a message, although I paid good money for that machine. 

Of course, when I emerge dripping draped in a towel. I hear the beep and no message is left. "Why didn't you answer the phone?" I ask my girls.

"We didn't know you were in the shower."

Yesterday, I was in our garage working out, and in runs my youngest, Grace, with a ringing phone in her hand, holding it out in front of her like it was a potato straight from the oven. 

"Here," she shoves it at me. I take it and press the "Talk" button, only to hear a dial tone.

"Why didn't you answer it?" I ask. 

"I didn't know who it was."

Of course she didn't. Answering it would have solved that problem. 

I just long for the days when kids could answer a phone and tell the person on the other end to hold on a second, or to take a message because Dear Old Dad was on the John. Ah, the good old days.


image courtesy of https://pixabay.com/en/phone-eighties...