How NOT to photograph the aurora

Here’s how NOT to take a photograph of the Aurora Borealis while in the Orkney Islands:
(1) Take the photograph in the summer when there is still twilight in the sky
(2) Make sure it’s a partially cloudy evening
(3) And when there’s a full moon
(4) Take the photograph hand-held, without a tripod, using only the roof of the car as a prop

Follow these simple instructions and it will look like this:
Northern Lights over Orkney on a cloudy, moonlit night.